Kellogg’s is back, and boy do they have a new cereal! It’s an update on the old favorite Frosted Flakes, adding a hint of that delicious root (I think it’s a root), Cinnamon, to the sugary glaze that already covered the corn flakes. You know the full name in fine print is actually “Frosted Flakes of Corn”? I don’t understand why they make that decision or why anyone would think that I’d mix it up with anything like Frosted Flakes of Bran or if there are any other Frosted Flakes of anything on the market.

But regardless, it’s here, and it’s got cinnamon, and I’m ready to crunch and munch and hopefully forget all of the very bad things that are at play all of the time.

So, how is it?

It’s quite… it’s okay. I’m no food critic, but I’ve eaten a few bowls of cereal in my day, and this is a nice bowl of cereal. One of the values of the Frosted Flakes brand is that I always know what I’ll get, I’ll get a decent bowl of milk and cereal, a little sweetness to start off my day. There’s no guesswork to Frosted Flakes, every bowl of Frosted Flakes that I’ve had since I was like six years old has been exactly the same and it’ll remain the same until I die a young and meaningless death.

Cinnamon Frosted Flakes are exactly what they claim to be. They are the same Frosted Flakes I’ve always known, just, with a bit of added extra cinnamon sugar. This is the first bowl of Frosted Flakes that I’ve ever had that hasn’t been like the thousands of bowls of Frosted Flakes before it. This is a change, and for the first time in my life, a jump from a known quantity to an unknown quantity when it comes to the trusted Frosted Flakes brand.

The image of Tony the Tiger used to mean the exact same thing to me every time I looked at him, and now he means two things – The 22 years of regular Frosted Flakes and the one week of Cinnamon Frosted Flakes. In one week of eating this cereal, Tony the Tiger has spent up the multiple decades of being something I knew, and has turned into just another thing I don’t know. Tony’s been added to an ever-growing list of things I don’t know a damn thing about anymore.

Tony used to mean quality and the distinct taste of a bowl of Frosted Flakes to me, and now he doesn’t. Tony now means nothing to me. If all it took was one mediocre box of Cinnamon Frosted Flakes to turn his symbol into nothingness for me, maybe he never really meant anything to me.

What milk did you mix with the cereal?

One percent. The store didn’t have the Vitamin D that I normally get. I used to get Soy Milk because it didn’t expire so quickly but now I buy just smaller amounts of regular milk and drink all of that before it expires.

What did you drink with the cereal?

Black coffee, baby. Dark enough that it doesn’t taste like anything and hot enough that I don’t taste anything.

Did this satisfy you?

This is a heavy burden to put on Cinnamon Frosted Flakes. It feels like there’s this void, or something, within me, and to expect Cinnamon Frosted Flakes to fill that void is a fool’s errand. I remain unsatisfied, but that should not be seen as a mark upon Cinnamon Frosted Flakes. I remain cold, but warmth could never come from Cinnamon Frosted Flakes.

OVERALL RATING:

5/10 – It’s better than nothing, but I might not buy another box anytime soon. A worthy experiment by the Frosted Flakes brand, but one that might ultimately end up hurting them.