Why is Squalor Barbecue Taking Over the World?


Squalor BBQ is appearing the world over – from Olathe, Kansas all the way to Lenexa, Kansas – looking like it came straight out of Joe’s Grubby Stupid Hands in the Squalor Closet in Lawrence, Kansas. Why aren’t they taking cues from Kansas City, Memphis, or whatever other city thinks throwin’ so much meat down on a plate counts as cultural cuisine?

Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Fieldhouse


The first player I remember lighting up Allen Fieldhouse was a forward. He played a major role for Roy Williams’ final Jayhawk team in 2003. He took a pass on a fast break, elevated, and dunked with a force strong enough to elevate a stadium of 16,000 to their feet in less than a second, a force I’ve come to know well. I was eight years old, and he became the guy who embodied the electricity and power of Kansas Basketball to me going forward. Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Coming Clean: Why I Bought the Georgetown Shirt

This is a recent photograph of me:


I recently purchased this shirt for four dollars. It represents the basketball program at Georgetown University in Washington, D.C. I know I’m not normally one to purchase shirts from private Catholic universities located within the Washington, D.C. metropolitan, but there comes a day for each of us. I want to dispel some rumors, because I know what you must be thinking:

Oh, Joe must be a fan of the Georgetown Hoyas

This is wrong. I am no fan of the Georgetown Hoyas. I am a fan of three collegiate basketball teams, and these are them: Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Reddit’s Weird Thing With Fake Serendipity

I would love, I guess, to pretend that I spend literally no time on the Reddit dot com site and instead spend my time like reading literary criticism or searching through vegan recipe sites or something worthwhile. But I probably look at reddit for, at most, like twenty to thirty minutes per day, the majority of which, coincidentally, come while I am shitting.

For the life of me, I wish I could remember the name of the video where a guy posts the same painting twice on Reddit, crediting himself once and crediting his uncle once, and with the painting credited to his uncle vastly outperforming the one credited to himself.

I’d link to it but I’ve completely forgotten where it came from, and I’m hoping that it was from a normal youtube person and not one of the guys whose job is to laugh at kids all the time. If it’s from a video from like the H3 guy or one of them other big youtube guys, then please disregard this paragraph and pretend I fabricated that memory and I’ve never seen a youtube guy with more than like 120K subscribers

Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I Have Found a Beret and Folks, It’s Over

Hey, Guess What Everyone:

Berets are Fucking Back

Check out This Article from British GQ saying so. British. GQ. The British wing of the website spawned by the magazine that once employed Chuck Klosterman says that the beret – the staple of old Army people and Jacqueline O’Nassis when she watched her first husband die – is back. And guess who found one in his closet last night?


Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Tay Zonday Deserves Better

Okay, I know this sounds like a joke title. Like you probably think I’m gonna go make a whole buncha jokes throughout this whole post. But guess what, y’all, there’s gonna be a dearth of jokes here. We’re entering into joke-free territory.

Well, not joke-free territory. I’m gonna make funnies but the whole conceit of this post is not funny. The whole conceit of this post is that Tay Zonday Deserves Better.

For those of you uninitiated, Tay Zonday is the guy who did the Chocolate Rain song back in 2007


Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

What will we do with me after I perish in the inevitable shooting?

I used to have a scout leader who would enact a thought experiment on each Saturday campout. He’d gather everyone around and ask if we thought it would rain that day. He’d goad responses out of the youngest scouts, who’d done their homework and researched the weather before or were told the forecast by an anxious parent the night prior. They’d give percentages, they’d cite meteorologists, weather.com, that anxious parent.

His refutation was never more nuanced than “Yes.”

The amount of time it took to pack an extra raincoat in the case that the rain came was small, the mewling and hand-wringing over the stress of potentially packing said raincoat was pointless, and it’d be better to have an unused raincoat in the dry air than the alternative. It’s going to rain today.

Likewise, I’m going into education work in the United States, a country where we’ve seen eighteen gun incidents in schools already halfway through the second month of the year. There appears to be no movement regarding taking action against this from politicians. In my home state, we’ve shown a desire to get more guns on campuses, so, y’know, whatever. Violence rules, guns are cool, whatever. I’m sure it’s unlikely in comparison, whatever. I’m going to die at the hands of gun violence. Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment