It’s been nearly a decade since we last departed Scranton, but the fan theories still persist! Undoubtedly you’ve heard of some of my favorites – Toby Flenderson is the Scranton strangler, Michael Scott is actually smart, Kevin laundered all of Dunder Mifflin’s money, they make you think about the show we watched for years! But what about those that don’t make you think at all? What about those fan theories that were so completely obvious and in many cases completely directly stated in the script of the show?

ERIN HANNON, NOT AS HOPELESS AS SHE SEEMED? Erin and several of the office men had sexual relationships

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Kansas football is in a bit of a pickle! They haven’t won more than five games in a season in a decade! That’s prompted people to jump ship in droves, and the drop from $9.5 Million in ticket sales in 2009 to a measly $3.4 Million in ticket sales is not insignificant. That’s a problem, you say, but nothing that a little helping of “winning football games” could get back on track. But unfortunately, I checked and that doesn’t seem to be in the cards. A six million dollar per year hit’s just a drop in the bucket for a big ol’ institution like ours! KU can earn that back in no time flat! There’s not much to worry… about… hold on, I’m getting some more news…

What’s this? KU also asked for…

$300 Million in Private Donations for Stadium Renovations?

Uh Oh!

KU’s got some ‘splainin to do! Or, at the very least, they’ve got some money to get back! That 300 million mark seems a little difficult to hit right off the bat, and they’ve deployed the valor theft bomb already by putting a major donor’s name on the stadium that’s supposed to be a World War I memorial. That might be a little more than we here at the site can chew off. Let’s start by paring down that $6.09 million. Here are a few ways we’ve come up with to get back to the comfortable standard set nearly a decade ago.

Just, Like, the Biggest Bake Sale

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He-he-here we go!

the kong is back folks and he’s ready for trouble and adventure.

The Kong Hungers…

The Kong gets Huge Banana in the Banana Pile Zone under the ground. Continue reading →

Okay so leading up to today, I hadn’t seen more than I think like five of the Marvel cinematic universe movies. Off the top of my head, I think it’s only been Iron Man 2, Iron Man, the first forty minutes of Iron Man 3 with Serbian subtitles because my boss from my old camp job obtained a copy of the movie for a staff night in during the summer the movie came out but the audio and video became desynced after a while to the point of unrecognizability and I left and went to bed, Guardians of the Galaxy 2, and Guardians of the Galaxy. I’ve also seen Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Spider-Man 2, and HULK, but I don’t think those play in the whole current canon thing. Also I finally watched Being John Malkovich a few weeks ago and it’s interesting but I don’t care for that main character fellow. Also the local movie theatre kicked me out because I brought a Tall Boy of Bud Ice and two Big Macs into the theatre during Draft Day.

That all being given, here’s my review of Avengers: Infinity War‘s page on Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

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Hey. HEY.

HEY!

The team name should be Chieves. Gramatically, y’know. Like, most of the other words that end in -ief (thief, grief, relief), when they’re made plural, they become -ieves. At least, the only one that’s a person (thief) becomes that way (thieves). Ergo, it should be Chieves.

It should be Chieves. Just, grammatically, it makes sense, right? Continue reading →

Man, this is the longest time I’ve had to digest a game I watched before offering my opinion on said game. But, regardless, on April 15th, 2018, for the first time in my life, I watched a regular season Major League Baseball game in a stadium that wasn’t Kauffman Stadium.

I put far too much gravitas on that last sentence there. This was just a baseball game in another park, and it’s not like I’m so tied to Kauffman Stadium that sitting down in another stadium is like cheating on a loved one or anything. This was mostly based on a touristic ideal of what would be cool to do on a Sunday in San Diego, California, and boy was I right, because it was cool to see a Padres game on a Sunday in San Diego, California.

PETCO PARK IS NEAT

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