ugh. Yeah. He’s gonna keep sliding. The fucking soccer guy’s going to keep sliding.
God damn it and the announcer’s gonna be like “Willingham scores and puts the championship to bed.” and it’s a car insurance ad somehow. This shit’s supposed to be an ad for car insurance. The guy sliding on his knees all over the pitch and the announcer screaming are supposed to convince me that the Government Employee Insurance COmpany has the best rate and service for car insurance.
You know what’s fucked up? The answer to that question requires a second question. You know who my car insurance provider is? If you guessed that it was GEICO, you were correct. My car insurance provider is GEICO. The car insurance provider who bankrolls 80% of all television programming, who’s gone from like, a gecko talking at you to some shit that’s hardly related to either car insurance or the act of saving money in lieu of maybe making you laugh the first time you see it offered the best rate and service for me.
Yeah the guy’s still going. He picked up a flag now.
Yeah it’s still on. The voiceover guy’s talking now.
Yeah somehow, I guess, you can expect soccer players to celebrate goals so you should expect GEICO to get you a great rate on insurance. That’s the connection between this 30-second pseudo-comedy sketch and the company it’s advertising.
That’s it. That’s all it is. At least it’s not, like, Boyz II Men singing a fart song anymore, but this is what we have to deal with if we choose to watch any TV over the next few weeks, and it will only be replaced by another, equally as kind of funny initially ad spot, and that will be replaced, and the one that replaces it will be replaced, and this will continued forever, or at least until the car insurance cabal is dismantled.
Yeah there he goes. He’s still sliding. He’s doing like a dance with his arms as he slides now.