oh god
oh no
oh, oh no, please not again
They’re doing it again. They’re doing football at KU again.
Another season. They’ve renewed it. Last year didn’t faze them, apparently. I watched every game last year and felt compelled to move all the way across the country this year. I will now be watching every KU game from the Pacific Standard Time zone. This means that eleven AM kickoffs are now nine AM kickoffs. This is the cross I bear.
Last year, I put a whole bunch of work and shit into a multi-tiered, couple thousand word preview, and KU went 1-11. This year? I’m not putting any effort into this preview. I’m doing this because I think it will help KU, and not because I get physically ill every time I think about the Jayhawks, and also not because I don’t feel like putting in the effort. So let’s get started
The Good
I’ve been researching the Football Hell Archives significantly in the last few days and y’know what?
Lotta bad things went on during the 2017 season. And the fact that there were a number of bright spots kinda make it worse. You have a lot of good players out there. This season, you’ve got two solid backs returning in Dominic Williams and Khalil Herbert with a promising freshman in Anthony Williams coming in. Most of the offensive line returns, which if nothing else means you’ll see a more experienced product on the field in the running game.
You’ve got good talent out there. You’ve got good offensive talent, you’ve got good defensive talent returning – in fact, about 91% of all production from last year returns! Outside of the loss of Chase Harrell to Arkansas and Dorance Armstrong to the NFL Draft, this team should be as talented as last year with an entire year of development and an infusion of good young talent.
That Being Said,
The Bad:
The bad thing is that the coaching staff that couldn’t use last year’s talent properly will be out there as well. Despite having the tools for a successful run-based offense out there, the offensive scheme was based in trying to turn incomplete tunnel screen passes into forward movement like the alchemist boiling his own urine in hopes it turns into gold.
That was Henning Brand who did that, btw, and he stumbled on to Phosphorous through that. Perhaps Doug Meacham will stumble into whatever element happens to come from Peyton Bender throwing lateral passes that land on the opposing team’s bench.
There will be twelve games played this year. I will watch many of them, as many as I can, but if life takes over, then life’s going to take over. If life taking over means I’m like at a beach reading an Agatha Christie novel or something or finally playing Kingdom Hearts, then so be it.
The Fact that Kansas and Rutgers are Playing Football Against Each Other Again This Year
I’ve grown up in bad football. I’ve been steeped in bad football. I’m like the kid from A Christmas Story who was made to eat soap to the point that he deemed certain soaps more flavorful than others. I don’t love bad football but damn do I understand it when I see it, and I can pick it apart as it comes and goes. This is why I’m excited for Kansas to take on Rutgers at home this season, when two of the three worst teams in recent Power-5 football history play a full-ass football game on television with people theoretically in the stands watching.
Last time these two teams played, a guy lined up fully across the line of scrimmage. This is the sort of thing you only get from Bad Football
This will be a culmination of bad football. This should be a celebration of bad football. This game should be used as an opportunity for bad football aficionados to swap stories, share insider tips, understand and learn eachother in a way similar to how the Sloan Conference provides that space for sports analytical experts. I want people who understand and love Bad Football to descend on Lawrence this fall, this game should not be wasted on people who desire excellence.
The Prediction
Last year I had a whole multi-tiered, circumstantial list of potential records dependent upon how different aspects of the season played out. This year, I’m just gonna give you a youtube video and call it a day.
Thanks, and Happy Footballin’!
Joe Bush dot Net 