Mello Yello is biting off a little more than it can chew here.

There’s just so much shit, man. I’m tired. Like, really tired, and shit’s been this way for such a long time that I’m pretty sure it’ll never stop being this way. Like we’re in hell for a while and there’s no way out. We’re inundated. It’s constant. It’s hell. We’re in hell.

And no one will save us.

Yet, Mello Yello’s sending out a life raft. With their new ad campaign – Mello Yello Will Solve Every Single Problem – Mello Yello aims to solve every single problem.

Be it Climate Change,

Unfettered Capitalism,

or Grown men profiting from a system that exploits labor off of the back of unpaid athletes and then faking as if they’re some sort of moral arbiter despite not upholding those same standards themselves

How? Well… It hasn’t exactly come to that yet. We assume that buying and drinking Mello Yello will be the first step to their plan, and they’ll have to take it from there. I admire Mello Yello for undertaking this, though I remain doubtful that they’ll have the clout, or money, or influence, or ability, or infrastructure required to actually fix the issues at hand. Yet, still, I sure as hell will be buying a nice tall glass of Mello Yello from my favorite fast food restaurant, assuming I ever find a fast food restaurant that offers Mello Yello.

Then, maybe, I’ll have a small hand in fixing everything.

Thanks, Mello Yello.

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