I came upon a realization recently. Pieces of evidence of the Mandela Effect have to be started somewhere. For those unaware, the Mandela Effect is a phenomenon where, according to the unofficial Mandela Effect subreddit, “it is discovered that a global, well known fact has apparently changed for A LARGE GROUP OF PEOPLE.” But if you read through the Reddit board, you’ll happen upon example after example of Mandela Effect samples that didn’t catch on. Check out this group of misfires hovering at zero upvotes currently on the “New” tab:

The Mandela Effect is a concept based almost entirely upon hearsay. Somebody must present their evidence before it can be confirmed as an example of the effect. Evidence of the Mandela Effect is transmitted via a two-step process:

1. Noticing something that you think has changed over time
2. Posting about it on Reddit

Of course, the perfect thing about Mandela Effect evidence is that its entire existence is based in the fact that there is no evidence for it. The entire point is that you cannot do your due diligence on it. Anything you say could be evidence of the Mandela Effect’s existence, provided that other people catch on to it and agree with you. Somebody’s gotta be seeding all these damn Mandela Effects and I figure I could try my hand at it.

It Used to be Berenstain Bearz with a Z at the end

Yeah I grew up with these books and I always remember it being “Bearenstain Bearz” with a Z. This wasn’t in some attempt to be cool, if I remember right. In the books’ lore, they were named originally after a patriarch named Janusz Berenstain-Beariewicz, but they changed it in the 1960s to “Berenstain Bearz” due to anti-Polish sentiment. All of that lore was in one of the books that I swear I owned but I cannot seem to find anymore. I always remember a “stain” at the end, though.

Auguste Rodin’s “The Thinker” Statue used to have a massive hog

“The Thinker” is one of the most chronically strange Mandela Effects, as most people can agree that the titular Thinker in the statue was originally in a different position, though everybody’s interpretation of what that original position was is different. Some remember the fist on the forehead, or the fist under the chin but featuring no interaction with the mouth. Me, I remember him with his fist fully swallowed, like he’s wrist-deep in there in my memory. Anyway, the more important thing in my memory, one thing I never see mentioned, was that he was absolutely packing. Like it was very clear that, whatever he was thinking about, it must’ve been sexy as hell. Anyway, I hardly ever see it mentioned anymore and it’s in none of the photos I’ve seen of Le Penseur, so unless there’s a group of rowdy French boys going around and snapping ’em off of the different casts around France, The Thinker’s manhood got Mandela Effect

Florida used to be way longer

You’re familiar with the map of the United States, right? The classic sea to shining sea silhouette. So am I, except it seems like I remember something that isn’t factual anymore: Long Florida.

The current Florida peninsula is pretty long. Like it’s a normal amount of length for what you’d expect for a state. But when I was growing up, all I can remember is Long Florida. Like it was just much longer. It was a lengthy state. Now it’s a normal length, which is fine, but I remember it being longer, that’s why we called it Long Florida. However it seems that Long Florida is no more.

Pharrell wore a normal sized hat to the 2014 Grammys

I remember distinctly seeing tens of media articles from like Buzzfeed and Huffington Post in 2014 that were like “WOW! Pharrell Stole the Show at the Grammys with a Normal Hat” and “We are LIVING for these 23 tweets about Pharrell’s Normal Hat”

Something like this. Just kinda normal-sized. Nice hat but nothing too big, y’know

There was a movie called “Kazaam!” that came out last year about a child who can turn into a superhero played by Nikola Jokic

I’ve come to find that it’s pretty common for people to think that there was a movie named “Shazam” about a genie who guides a child along a journey that was released in the mid-1990s and starred the comedian-actor Sinbad. Now, this movie never existed. What did exist was a movie entitled “Kazaam” about a genie who guides a child along a journey that was released in the mid-1990s and starred the professional basketball player Shaquille O’Neal.

I love Kazaam to death, I bought a copy of that VHS tape at an antique mall in Osakis, Minnesota in 2008, and I’ve watched it many times. I have no confusion regarding that part of the Kazaam/Shazam film controversy aspect of the Mandela Effect.

HOWEVER, I was amazed to find that the movie that I swore I saw live in theaters last year, this one named “Kazaam!”, a movie about a child who can turn into a superhero starring the professional basketball player Nikola Jokic. Now, this movie also never existed, apparently. What did exist was a movie entitled “Shazam!” about a child who can turn into a superhero starring comedian-actor Zachary Levi.

This is astounding because I was completely moved by Jokic’s performance, and I really thought he’d end up taking home a Golden Globe, or a Critics Choice award, or if not that at least an Oscar. But I guess in this timeline, it’s this bullshit with the guy from Chuck. Absolute step down.

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