Major League Soccer’s TV Ratings are in Crisis – Here’s How To Save Them

MAYDAY! MAYDAY! MAJOR LEAGUE SOCCER’S TELEVISION RATINGS ARE POOR! THEY’RE LOWER THAN THE LEAGUE WANTS! DON GARBER WANTS MORE EYES ON SETS AND DEAR GOD HE’S NOT GETTING THEM! WE CANNOT HANDLE THIS MUCH LONGER AND IF WE DON’T FIX IT THE ENTIRE HOUSE OF CARDS IS GOING TO FALL. YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE MAD DONNIE!

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We Qualified!

I realize that I never really let myself feel like it would happen before last night.

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…To the Twitter End

Nobody ever commented on it but I had the same YouTube video linked in my Twitter description for about a decade.

You can look at it on the WayBack Machine, it had been there that long. It was like my junior year of high school and somebody posted that clip of Nic Cage putting on plastic fangs from Vampire’s Kiss in a Skype group I was a part of. After like a year I thought it’d be funny to keep it there. Now it’s on the site forever, now that the account is gone.  Continue reading

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Considering: Two Televisions

There are only so many places we can find honest power over our domains anymore in life. Does it not feel that we are all so alienated from what we want in our lives? Isn’t that what we want – control, power? Taking what may seem impossible or unwieldy and taking control of it ourselves? What more is there to desire, ultimately? 

And time… Time is that which cannot be changed. Father time, as is said, is undefeated. This is true on many scales, both that aging makes your back hurt when you get up in the morning so you have to stretch and that sometimes two basketball games you want to watch are airing at the same time. This second dilemma… It seemed impossible to overcome, a theoretical mountain higher than any other, especially in the realm of sports wherein the viewing of an event live on-air is so imperative. Impossible to overcome by normal means, and by normal men. 

But in the words of one of the athletic world’s greatest minds – I’m a genetic freak and I’m not normal. And neither is my television setup Enter the two-television setup:

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They gave the Geico lizard a person sized burrito

It’s too big for him. He’ll get sick. It’s too big. Why did you make him such a big one

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Well, MY Bracket’s Already Busted!

Oh come on! 

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Chuck Klosterman’s “The Nineties” Pseudo-Review

I don’t think I’ve ever done a traditional “review” of a book before here. I’ve done video games, movies, even albums, like years ago. It doesn’t feel like it was that long ago that I was doing reviews of pieces of media all the time. “Piece of media” doesn’t feel right to say, too general, but I’m not going to say “works of art” when I used to review, like, Kelly Slater’s Pro Surfer. It hits me the last time that the last time I reviewed a video game or a movie or an album was No Thing for the Switch back in mid-2018. That was nearly four years ago. It doesn’t feel like four years ago, it doesn’t feel that long ago at all, but it was that long ago. Is that just how four years feels? Is it just that a lot of the past two years specifically haven’t felt like they moved at a normal pace? Or do we experience time differently than we used to?

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That is, more or less, one of the themes made by Chuck Klosterman in his book The Nineties, published in early 2022 by Penguin Press, a book that I got through in record pace, like maybe a week. The judgment of this book’s quality in this ‘review’ should be summed up by that fact. Because I’ve made a point in recent posts to be more open about stating personal opinions that may lead to ridicule on social media (I genuinely don’t know if this would or not) I should point out that Chuck is probably my favorite living writer, one of the only people for whom I will purchase a new book immediately upon publication without needing to know the premise. I generally don’t buy that many brand new books in a given year anyway. As someone who has read Klosterman’s entire catalogue, this is my second favorite book of his next to But What if We’re Wrong from 2016, or at least, that’s how I feel after having finished this last weekend.

I suppose this post is more or less a response, a post in which I use The Nineties as a jumping off point for some thoughts of my own. I think that’s what you do in book reviews.

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The Schok Classic: Only what you need and relatively little more

This is only my second foray into writing about my feature phone use, so bear with me if it seems like I don’t know what I’m doing here. My prior instance of writing about it came back in early 2021 last year, in this video, which you can watch for more of me discussing feature phone use.

I purchased a Schok Classic flip feature phone back in January, I’ve been using it for about a month and a half, this post contains my experience with smartphones and feature phones, my thoughts about the Schok Classic in particular, critiques I have of it, and my overall current perspective about it.

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The ShopGoodwill Football Memorabilia Sampler

For the moment, ShopGoodwill.com remains one of the web’s hidden gems. It’s sort of like what eBay was like twenty years ago, in that it’s still basically just old stuff, none of the auto-generated T-Shirts and automatic cross-posts from Fanatics stores that plague eBay nowadays, but there’s also very little quality control and less of a sense that something needs to be sellable in order to be listed. It’s not quite the experience of walking through a Goodwill store (even though I must say I’ve only ever had fairly mediocre Goodwills everywhere I’ve lived), and you don’t get everything, but there’s a wider variety of stuff you wouldn’t look for on eBay here and more of it can get put right in your face if you want.

What do most people naturally go to a thrift store for? Used toasters? Novelty coffee mugs? VHS Tapes? Old jackets that curse you with the memories of those who owned them? Yes, and those are there in wide swathes. Do not discount the odd piece of sports memorabilia that might end up in a ShopGoodwill listing.

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The Case For Simply Watching the Game

S9030001I moved in to a new apartment yesterday. Partially moved-in, at least. I still had a bunch of stuff to move and procure, as you can judge from the empty shelves and general disheveledness of the above photo. This was my temporary television viewing setup. Small chair and small television.

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