Last week was weird.

NBA 2K15 (XBONE): Second Appearance, Second Straight Appearance

I’m having many of the same problems I had with 2K14 on the 360 back in April, mainly that I’m not good and I can’t make shots and all my passes get intercepted. Also the coach chews me out after every practice as it seems. Even if I think I do well, he’s angry, so clearly I haven’t done well.

The next-gen version of 2K14 was better than the XBOX 360 version, but the cutscenes in the next-gen game were far lacking. The cutscenes this year are quite improved. Your agent has a little more of a personality (granted, “any personality at all” is far more than was in 2K14), and I like how there’s more of an actual story that isn’t “you got drafted now go play basketball.” Also, it fixes the continuity error of throwing an extra pick (actually, an extra two picks counting your rival Jackson Ellis) into the draft yet still, miraculously, my team ended up with the same first round pick that they did in the actual 2014 draft. Having Ernie Johnson and Shaq in the game as analysts was a good idea, even if it’s a formality, because I always skip over pregame stuff like that, and I’m glad they gave Doris Burke a couple extra frames of animation.

I haven’t played much of the MyGM mode, only two games with the Mavs, and let me tell you: Jameer Nelson isn’t gonna be as good this season as I’m making him in the game. That was a surprising pickup this summer, though I like his veteran presence, I would’ve rather seen a little younger player at point, even though I don’t know exactly who that could be (I mean Mario Chalmers was a name that kept coming up and I’d definitely take Jameer over him). Losing Calderon made me sad because he was one of my favorite players, but Jameer’s alright. The defense is a big weakness, so the offense has to be on point and I can’t miss like 6 straight shots like I did with Monta in my last game. At the moment, I predict a spot around 4th or 5th in the Western Conference, possibly a second round appearance, but probably not much more unless they get paired up with OKC in round 2.

Also I replaced someone with the ’96 SuperSonics, so in the future there’s a franchise in the Emerald City like there really should be, even though Detlef Schrempf’s also gonna be a piece of that future. and god bless him. #Detlef2K14

MLB 2005 (PS1): First Appearance

I believe in Video Game Theism. I believe there is a figurative god in video games, and it’s vengeful and doesn’t care at a certain point. I’ve previously stated that there is at least one godless setting in all of gaming, and I believe I have found another. And it’s more of a time-setting. Past about inning 15, especially when both pitchers have thrown almost perfect innings since the middle of the sixth, the work of Abner Doubleday, Babe Ruth, Jackie Robinson, Reggie Jackson, Stan Musial, Barry Bonds, all the way up to Yasiel Puig is all for naught and baseball becomes nihilistic. After a second full game of baseball, there is nothing to see, there is nothing to be excited about, no peanuts, no cracker jacks, no caring about whether or not you ever get back, no caring about “back” at all, no time, no time, no innings, no Mariners, no Royals, no Raul Ibanez, no Rauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuul

No Lemonade, No Lemonade, No Lemonade.

No woo.

Others that don’t warrant more than a few seconds of mention:

Five Nights at Freddy’s (PC): First Appearance, probably last appearance: There’s a legitimate fear here, but it’s all based in the jump-scare and I ran out of power, so I knew it was coming, even though I walked all the way across the room and yet, life works in mysterious ways and maybe I’m the best player at this game of all time

I keep just typing the word “Football” (Brain): what the fuck am I doing: Literally every time I have put a line break in this article while I’ve typed it, I’ve written the word “football.” I don’t know why. I can’t even think about football without getting sick after my favorite team’s best linebacker set a season record for tackles in a game and yet they still lost by two touchdowns because Lubbock is a weird place