It’s April 1 again, and I, the guy who has a website named after himself and insists he’s not a narcissist, made a joke for April Fool’s. Nobody will know what the joke is until late Saturday or early Sunday, and it’s Friday, which makes it all the worse. Nobody online’s even going to know about it so I don’t need to tell you about it anyway, but I realized my joke wouldn’t hit anyone for a few days earlier today which is a problem because I actually liked my joke this year. Let’s go back in time and look at my other bad ones.
This is false
This was true
Actually, reading this again, this was a good joke. The other one I did was bad
I’m not, like, great at French now, but I’m a hell of a lot more confident than I used to be. I struggle to get through so many words in this video, I don’t know the word for “goal” (it’s ‘but’) and I didn’t really have many people watching the videos at this point so it didn’t really matter. If I did this joke this year, it might be funny past the whole “oh this dude’s doing a different language”
Okay, looking back, I didn’t put anything at all on Twitter on April 1st of 2014. I think that was the joke
I may have made this joke like well over ten times by this point. I did last week, I know
2013 was also the “Bear” year. My sister and I used to drive home from school together when I was a Senior in high school and she was a Freshman. April 1st of 2013, her and I thought, while driving home, “we should prank our dad.” We ran into our house, ran to our dad’s office, and repeated”Dad! There’s a bear outside!” It was so impressively bad that my sister apparently kept doing it the next year’s April Fool’s. To a certain extent, in my family, April Fool’s day is synonymous with a fake bear.
I don’t think this is a joke. This doesn’t make me sad now, I don’t know what me at fifteen thought, but I don’t think it was a joke. I didn’t put anything on Twitter for this year, and I didn’t have Twitter until fall of 2010. The rest of these will be from memory or Facebook.
She was my first and most caustic critic. I put a bunch of towels in the shower, if I remember right. Maybe an overreaction, and I may have embellished it, but I’m glad someone called me out on a bad joke.
You know what, I didn’t have to post this video up here. I could’ve been like, oh, yeah, I didn’t start putting stuff on YouTube until May of 2008 and there wasn’t a channel started by me, age 12, in March of 2008. But here’s this. It’s not even an April fool’s joke. I think I just happened to put it out on April 1st of 2008. I’d actually like to pretend I didn’t make this but here I am, right here, stating I made this video and I thought it would be a funny joke.
I got a lot of mean comments for it, too, which isn’t surprising, but, like, whoa. I was 12 at the time! That’s way too mean to be to a 12 year old. 13, maybe. But 12?
The start to this story is that my sister hates Golden Grahams. Or, at least, she hated Golden Grahams in 2005 or 2006 or whenever. She loved Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I got up early and swapped the Golden Graham bag and the Cinnamon Toast Crunch bag. She got really, really upset. I mean, really, really upset, she threw a tantrum. This is probably why I shouldn’t make jokes. Jokes can hurt and can put a bowl of Golden Grahams on the table when you want something that isn’t vaguely honey flavored ridged trash flakes that don’t taste good in this life or any others. Comedy should be about giving them the Cinnamon Toast Crunch, the cereal that advertised the fact that you could see the pure sugar you’re about to ingest to get your day started off right.