LAWRENCE – It had been a long time coming, it seems, but Joe Bush has finally broken the indoor high pitched noise decibel record. Bush, 21, has been described as “clumsy, but overall an okay driving school student”. He reached into a bathroom sink to wash his hands and ended up uttering the high pitched noise, which reached a peak of 8.22 Decibels.
“Hot” he said, when asked how the water felt to make him screech that way. “Water hot. Hand hurt for a lil bit.”
In an interview with nobody in particular, Bush thanked his family, his plumber, and his legions of adoring fans of his website where he fake shills for a chocolate product and writes about Italo House and sports he invented or something. Bush’s hand is in critical condition and will likely be amputated.