Joe Bush dot Net will NEVER Update its Privacy Policy

Folks, it’s the joke of the day, everywhere is updating their privacy policy and they’re required to tell you via email. Who’s to blame for this minor annoyance?

That’s right.


It’s the EU. The dang Union. They’ve screwed us again – once with the Euro, once with the FIBA Trapezoidal Free Throw Lane, and now with these damn emails that eBay keeps sending me. And this time it’s not because the VHS of The World is Not Enough I sent to Sephiroth98 in North Carolina was haunted.

As a retort against our Belgian (de facto) leaders, I would like to stare firmly at their little “General Data Protection Regulation,” and shove it directly up my own ass.

Or their ass. whichever is more impactful.

Anyway, I will not be changing the Joe Bush dot Net privacy policy. That was the main point of the piece and I got there in fewer than 150 words this time. I’m damn proud of that. In case you’ve forgotten the contract you signed as soon as I mentioned the URL to you in person, I will restate the standing privacy policy:

The information given, gifted, or otherwise come across by use of Joe Bush dot Net is hereby forfeited by the end user, donated to the big internet cloud in the sky, from which it will be inaccessible to anyone by anything other than happenstance. None of this information will likely be used, but it’s up there, collecting room, and it’s important that you know that.

On the off-chance that Joe or Joe Bush dot Net LLC comes into contact with any potentially damaging or otherwise unsavory details, the liberty for them to appear in posts lay with the author.

Readers who desire for their information not to be utilized in any work of post or joke must write the information they’d like least to be written upon, ranked from 1 to 5, 1 meaning most intensely embarrassing to 5 meaning still embarrassing but maybe not quite as much as number one would be considered, upon a 3x5in notecard and send it via post to the Joe Bush dot Net LLC office in the storage closet of the UNIdome in Cedar Falls, Iowa. Joe refuses to use any potentially incriminating information, truth be told because he doesn’t really understand what most of it means anyway and he’s not going to take the time to learn.

If former Denver Nuggets forward Marcus Camby reads The Site, he is heavily influenced to give Joe an autographed photograph of himself. He doesn’t have to but Joe would really like it if he did.

If you’ve given any personal information to The Site as a part of the annual “Joe Bush dot Net Most of Your Personal Information Drive for Charity,” then that information is likely in the hands of a needy child somewhere, and will be hereby considered forfeiture. Apologies have been offered to those whose information was donated to fast food employees and patrons during the 2013 JBdNMoYPIDfC, after Joe misunderstood the difference between the Ronald McDonald House and one McDonald’s restaurant in Storrs, Connecticut. This will not happen again.

Any and all personal information that Joe has on you can be seen and retrieved by finding him at the CVS pharmacy where he buys one Diet Mountain Dew every afternoon at around 1:30 PM.

Any further questions may be asked of Joe at the Tweet HoleEUROPE or the Post Hole. Joe barely understands how the website works in the first place so please don’t actually ask him what wordpress’ privacy policy or whatever this, 100% of this is jokes

About Joe Bush

The guy behind and a lot of other things
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