Day going “fine” says floor-layer, 23

BATHROOM – Local dipshit, described as “having a pretty normal one,” has opted to spend an indeterminate amount of time laying on the bathroom floor this morning.

The prompt for this floor-laying is unknown but multifold. Possible origins may arise from scholarly-invoked stresses, general tiredness, or the fact that he hate half a thing of Pizza Hut Breadsticks last night. It is possible that a mix of the previously stated prompts create a real sort of sophistic truthful theory of exigency that eventually led to this dipshit resting his head on the tile.

“I kind of thought this would be worse” said dipshit, 23, who managed to be comfortable enough to feel himself drifting to sleep but not comfortable enough to actually fall asleep, “but I don’t know. The floor is kind of cool and the fan running makes this nice sort of ambient white noise.”

Plans for dipshit are to rest here for an at this time undefined amount of time before pulling himself up to his knees, looking at his watch, and then muttering some curse word before hurriedly washing his hands and leaving for work.

For now, for dipshit, the floor provides a sort of comfort, if one can call it that. “I never considered this as an option. I don’t remember how I got here, really, either. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about what the bathroom floor would feel like, but all things considered, this is surprisingly comfortable.” When asked if having this contextual knowledge would affect his future, he was uncertain. “If a habit develops, then so be it.”

Though dipshit, 23, might not consider this the necessary beginning of a long future of laying on bathroom floors, he is powerless to stop the motion of time. The future is coming. The bathroom floor will beckon again.