When the trees start dropping leaves, we start dropping looks.
Temperatures have begun to fall to downright frosty levels now that we’re midway through October, which, to me, means two things:
- Climate Change must be a Liberal Myth
- It’s time to bust out the sweaters!
But it can’t just be sweaters, now, can it? I’ve been in the lab for weeks working on these hot new fall looks, and trust me, you’ll LOVE what it feels like to step out in the cool autumn air wearing these.
The Chair can work great for anyone who needs a chair on the go, or for anyone who just wants to give off that “ready-to-sit” attitude people are into nowadays. If you’re heading anywhere that you might not be able to get a seat, like a Saturday football game or a hayrack ride, you’ll have one ready right around your upper back! The Chair is available literally anywhere they sell chairs, and feels exactly like you’d expect it to!
The Jeans Sleeves (or Jleeves as certain parts of the country call them) are a fun way to repurpose the jeans you wore yesterday into sleeves you’ll wear today! I got the idea for them after I realized that many of my favorite shirts didn’t have long sleeves! Then I realized: What are pants if not sleeves for your legs? I went from no sleeves to four sleeves in a hurry. Plus, those extra sleeves can be borrowed by your friends, creating a chain of people with warm arms that can take the day over!
It’s happened to all of us: You’re at a restaurant, you’re dining on a lovely meal, and suddenly you spill some Clam Chowder or Kielbasa or Mustard or Busch Ultra on your favorite jeans! If only you’d brought a towel! Well, now you can. The waist bib may look like a towel tucked into your jeans’ waistband, and that’s because it basically is. The waist bib makes it certain that you won’t be getting any stains unless you dribble some sort of food in the space around the towel, in which case you’re out of luck.
Just a Belt and a Bowler Hat
Wow! What a feeling of freedom and joy that you get out of the classic Just a Belt and Bowler Hat look! It may look like it doesn’t provide any protection when it gets cold, and it doesn’t, but the confidence and pride in self will warm you from the inside, which is a much more fulfilling sense of warmth than any physical feeling can provide. The Just a Belt and Bowler Hat look will amaze those around you and potentially get you thrown into jail, but the freedom is unmatched in any other look. Add gloves for that hip Northeastern look.
Ever worried that you’re not getting as much protection from the sun as your pretty little head deserves? Tri-hat will solve that! Get protection on three (3) sides of the head, a full 200% increase in coverage that your head gets. And your head deserves the best it gets. Going to some sort of three-way World Series matchup? The tri-hat allows you to rep three teams at once! In this pic I’m repping my three favourite teams in this pic – The Montréal Expos, the Kansas City Royals, and… okay, well the third one is a Tony Stewart hat, but it’s from the era before he killed that guy.
THE FUCKING KING! Mahomes will never even touch this guy. You think Mahomes could put up numbers like he has with Lake Dawson and a washed-up Andre Rison? Hell No. Give praise to the man, kiss the ring, and let Arrowhead’s first King know you know what a true champion looks like this fall.