Ranking Kevin Durant’s Tweets About the Home Alone movies

He’s a league MVP, a 2-time NBA Finals MVP, and he’s got opinions about the Home Alone series of films.

KD with VHS tape

Kevin Durant is a record setter. He was the youngest man in history to lead the NBA in scoring over a season when he did so in 2010 at only 21 years of age. He was the first player in Oklahoma City Thunder history to win an MVP award. He’s played in three NBA Finals, and he’s won two NBA Finals MVP awards. He was in that movie. I ate at his restaurant once before he left OKC and the restaurant closed down.

And he is the most prolific tweeter of opinions about the Home Alone series of films, directed by John Hughes and starring Macaulay Culkin in the first two and then a series of other anonymous child actors for the other two, in NBA History.

NOTE: I have not checked this, so if a stockpile of like Mark Price Tweets about Home Alone 3 comes up sometime then I am truly, deeply sorry.

To date there are four Kevin Durant Tweets regarding the Home Alone series. While this number may seem small, compared to other NBA players of a similar caliber, Durant has them beat: Steph Curry has only the one, Shaquille O’Neal has none, and the only other man I can find with more than even a single reference to the phrase is Sweet Lou, who tweeted about the act of being home alone twice in 2010. Durant is clearly the king of Home Alone tweets, and these are the tweets, presented in the order from least best to most best:

#4 – 28 August 2009:

This is a tweet in the classic Twitter sense. Sweet, short, a celebrity telling an audience about what’s going on in his life, and that’s all. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York lulled a young Kevin Durant, only 21 years of age at that point, to sleep. He’d probably not even lived in his new home in Oklahoma City for a full year at that point, as the Sonics had only relocated for the season prior. I like to think that this is a homesick young KD remembering the happiness of his youth, the carefree days of watching the antics of Macaulay Culkin frolicking through the New York City streets, and letting his heavy eyes whisk him away to dreamland. I hope he slept well that night.

#3 – 22 August 2009:

It is striking me that Kevin Durant had also watched Home Alone 2 less than a week prior. This is another classic Tweet format: This is what I am doing, and this is what I think of it. Durant’s statement on Home Alone 2 is declarative and confident – something you’d expect from a ten-time All-Star. It’s also evident of a young man’s first foray into film criticism. When I was 21, I had awful taste. I spent all my time watching YouTube videos on World Cup bloopers and only ate BOCA Burgers. But I was confident that my taste was great. And maybe I was wrong, maybe I was right – But that was my taste, and my taste alone. So, young KD, I’m glad you felt confident in stating that Home Alone 2 was one of the best movies ever.

#2 – 22 August 2009:

This one also discusses Home Alone 2, (judging by the fact that it was tweeted a mere five minutes after the prior tweet) but more importantly brings into question a linguistic tic of Buzz, the elder brother of Kevin. The only definition of flimwad I can find is this one from Urban Dictionary user Greggy, who defines it as an early sort of European currency. I cannot find any other source to back Greggy up. To date, it appears that Durant is the only person in Twitter history to bring up the question of what a flimwad is, the only other use of the word appears to have been that of a competitive Super Smash Brothers Melee player during the early half of the decade, and I try very hard not to think about that community. Kevin Durant, in this tweet, created inquiry. He did some epistemic work, and my sincere hope a decade later is that he now has a sense of WTF a flimwad is lol lol

#1 – 19 August 2009

Hot damn, Kevin, what a scene! Spock from Star Trek and Kevin McCallister from Home Alone together in one place, and they’re fighting! I have no idea what would’ve prompted KD to have had this thought, but I’m glad he did. Kevin probably either

  1. Recently watched the 2009 film Star Trek, which probably would have been hitting home video around that time, and then went and watched Home Alone, the first one, which would make sense given the fact that he tweeted about watching its sequel a mere three days later OR
  2. Was playing M.U.G.E.N.

I choose to believe the latter, as both characters are available for download on the MUGEN archive. Unfortunately I could not find footage of Spock and Kevin fighting anywhere and I’m writing this on a 2002 iMac I found on the side of the road so there’s no way I can perform the test myself. In its stead, we can see Kevin fighting both Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin. It’s what KD would’ve wanted:

I would like to see somehow both Damian Lillard and Kyle Lowry in the finals at the same time, please God let this happen. Also, Kevin, please get well soon. Please also find me on the Tweet Hole, Post Hole, and Ko-Fi

About Joe Bush

The guy behind JoeBush.net and a lot of other things
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