These Democrats made some oopsies on the MSNBC stage!

Over two nights in late-June, 2019, the Democrats all put their differences aside to come together and have a huge party on the network which is a combination of a news network and a chatroom service. The twenty-two candidates, split up into groups of eleven each, exchanged savage barbs all night, each apparently vying for the right to somehow break through the pack and become the lead candidate for 2020.

But they couldn’t all make savage takedowns of their fellow dem candidates! Some of them made some pretty funny gaffes, certain to be lampooned by late-night talk show hosts, sketch comedy shows, and that a capella group which like performs at piano bars in the DC area. Here at JoeBush.net we’ve catalogued the funniest, whackiest gaffes of the 2019 Democratic Debates, and I know you’re just rarin’ up, just fuckin revvin’, just horny as hell to read about them you little fucking worm:

Beto O’Rourke:

Shitted his damn pants on the debate floor! What a fuck-up from the Texas Teapot! Old El Paso, as his friends call him, shitted his damn pants on the debate floor! What a huge gaffe. Beto O’Rourke made waves last year because a bunch of journalists thought he was what a hot person looked like, also he lost to Ted Cruz. But during the first night of debates on Wednesday, Beto shitted his damn pants on the debate floor! How embarassing!

Eric Swalwell:

Shitted his damn pants on the debate floor! Holy shit, the congressman from California just straight up shitted his damn pants on the debate floor! What a freakin rube! Who the hell could possibly vote for a guy who shitted his damn pants on the debate floor! Eric Swalwell is one of the few Democratic candidates who doesn’t seem to have much of an idea on any topic, unfortunately, so I don’t think I can continue writing his paragraph. However his last name sounds like the name of an English soccer team team? If you saw a british person wearing a shirt that said “Swalwell FC” on it, and then they yelled like “UP THE SWALLIES” at you, it would make sense, I think. Anyway, the guy shitted his damn pants on the debate floor!

Amy Klobuchar:

The Senator from the Great North State of Minnesota shitted her damn pants on the debate floor! What the hell? How’d that happen? How could a person so well accomplished just end up having shitted her damn pants on the debate floor? Amy Klobuchar is from Minnesota, the state whose baseball team currently leads the American League Central. Famously last year, Amy circumcised the shit out of one of her interns for giving her a bowl of M&Ms without the brown ones picked out. She is also the subject of my oft-teased, yet-to-be-introduced character “Klobuchar Feet Guy”, a guy who is turned on sexually by the idea of getting stepped on by Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar. She also shitted her damn pants on the debate floor!

Andrew Yang:

He shitted his damn pants on the debate floor! Andrew Yang was the founder of Silicon Valley, who became very rich off of an app which let you rent premium mattresses for $400 per night. Andrew Yang’s big thing is wearing a shirt that says “I’m Andrew Freakin’ Yang, Baby!”. He also shitted his damn pants on the debate floor! Weird, horrible move by Andrew Yang to just straight up have shitted his damn pants on the debate floor, but here we are, a day later, all talkin about how Andrew Yang shitted his damn pants on the debate floor! I will however take the one thousand dollars per month that he’s promised

John Hickenlooper

The Duke of ol’ West VA got ROWDY last night when he Shitted his damn pants on the debate floor! Who could’ve thought that ol’ Hickenlooper, whose whole big thing is like drinking crude oil, would have shitted his damn pants on the debate floor? He’s the fuckin Hickenlooper! He’s Hickenlooping himself outta here! Go back to fuckin’ Coal Country you Shit! Perry Ellis was Fouled when he missed the layup at the end of the 2015 KU-WVU game

Donald Freakin Drumpf:

Donald Drumpf Looks Like a Freakin’ Cheeto

Joe Biden:

The Former Vice President Shitted His Damn Pants on the Debate Stage! What a fuckin nut! Joe Biden is famous for his funny Onion articles and his crime bill which put anyone who so much as looked up the Wikipedia article for Marijuana in Leavenworth Federal Prison for life. He happened, while discussing how to Get The Damn Kids to Shut Tha Hell Up While I Enjoy a Nice Cuppa Coffee, to have shitted his damn pants on the debate floor! This gaffe will go down in history as “The Time Joe Biden Shitted His Damn Pants on the Debate Stage!”

Marianne Williamson:

Eyes began glowing, ascended into the air and levitated, shot orbs of energy from her palms which burst the stage into flames, rendering each fellow candidate incapacitated and incontinent. She has been elected president in 2020 already.

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Regardless of what happened at the debate, we’re all going to fight together and work together for a future worth living in the United States of America. Regardless of who you vote for, we all must come together and agree: This is a country, where we live. And as always, if you’re planning to vote for anybody other than Tulsi Gabbard, you’re a coward