How could I ever repay him?

It was fifteen years ago yesterday. July 6th, 2006. I don’t remember where I was or what I was doing that day. June 6th, 2006 I can vividly remember being at Overland Park’s famous “Kentaco Hut” complex, a restaurant with a KFC, a Taco Bell, and a Pizza Hut Express all jammed together, watching a CNN report on a festival held in a town named Hell in Michigan, as that day bore the once-in-a-lifetime experience of being 6/6/06. Of 7/6/06, though, I have no recollection.

Little did we understand how close we were to knowing that day as the last one that any of us could recall. For that was the day that the aliens attacked, and one man, one bizzbatch, stood up, pulled out a gun, and spake back:

Not Today Motherfucker!

I am considering intense self-flagellation for the crime of not including this video in my inaugural YouTube Hall of Fame post from a few weeks ago. Lord knows that I deserve it. In my defense, I thought that I had mentioned it in that 2016 post. I didn’t. I mentioned it in a 2017 post during the “Bad Opinions Month” era, and I called it “The Best YouTube Video” there so please consider it to be a sort of preliminary member of the YouTube Hall of Fame, so great that it transcended the Hall of Fame initially. Like a Marion Motley-type. 

The event captured in this video was never reported on by the news. In fact, I looked up the news from the day after this event was captured and they don’t even mention a damn thing about how a guy yelled “Not Today Motherfucker!” at a UFO and shot it with a gun.

Yeah, it’s all bullshit. Some pirate bullshit movie came out, Tom Watson played golf and we all love Tom Watson in Kansas City, Felipe Calderon wins a contested election in Mexico. Total media blackout on the guy who saved us all from a UFO attack. Bull’s Shit.

So if nobody back then fifteen years ago is gonna thank him – and hell, if me yesterday forgot to thank him – then I think it’s high time that we all thank him on this fifteenth anniversary (give or take a day) of when this guy, YouTube User bizzbatch, saved us all from a UFO attack. 

As the impact from the single bullet fired from this gun prompted the blue explosion cloud to engulf the UFO, bizzbatch fist pumped in excitement and pride. It’s high time that we all collectively fist-pumped in excitement and pride with him. He did it. He stopped this UFO, wherever it was, and however it got there, from doing whatever it was supposed to do, by firing a single bullet at it from a gun. He is history’s most unsung hero, the man who deserved a third of the video of his heroism to be taken up by a title card, and this post is a simple statement of gratitude. 

Will we forget him again? Perhaps. But are we going to forget him today?

Not Today Motherfucker!

If you want an email newsletter to keep you updated on things I make or do you can check out the new Substack where I’ll send you an email anytime something new goes up. I’m also on Tumblr but that’s really it now