LAWRENCE, KS – In a twist that can only be described as “completely believable”, local dumb idiot and college student Joe Bush purchased several notebooks at a Target before realizing that they were Wide Ruled and, in his words, “worthless”.
“Ahhhh, well. That’s… my bad.” said Bush, 21, about the fact that he clearly bought the wrong product. He also claims that he has neither the desire nor the ability to make use of wide ruled notebooks in any effective context. Yet, still, he will not return them.
“I can’t walk back into a target and return six dollars worth of notebooks. I’ll just have to use them in some context. I’ll write notes about everyday life or something. I’ll keep tabs on my oil changes or, like, DVDs that I want to buy, or something. I’ll figure it out.”
Bush, who one time bought a 12-pack of Tab cola because he thought it would be funny, also purchased the wrong amount of notebooks. This is because he’s an idiot.
“They only had one box full of notebooks left at the Target. I just grabbed as many as I could. That turned out to be eight. I’m only taking five classes, and I’m not going to use them for any classes. I don’t know what to do. I’ll like, write jokes on them. Or rap lyrics, maybe. Or regular lyrics. Or draw more of those “Maurice” comics I drew in the 12th grade.”
The Maurice comics he drew in the 12th grade are a collection of bad comics about… like… an arrow sign with legs on it. It’s not good. He came up with the character during a bathroom break at a student journalism conference.
Joe spent four dollars on five notebooks at a nearby Wal-Mart even though he knows he’s supposed to feel bad about shopping at Wal-Mart. He is conflicted, but the ends and the means are very limited and ultimately probably unlinked here. The release of the next “Maurice” comic, “Maurice Goes to Graceland”, is in production and may or may not be released.