WHat if MaDonnalds had done that instead of Chicken McNuggets? That would be horrible.

Oh god… I’m just thinking about it right now… Chicken McNougats? Like a mix between Chicken and Nougat? How awful would that be? How terrible… What a horrible, horrible thing that would be. My god. Ever since I thought of the phrase I’ve had this terrible shiver up my back and it’s not gone away since.

Could you deign to imagine the flavour? THe perverse interplay entre the 100% USDA approved white meat chicken’s breast and whatever nougat is made of? Do you dare? Do you dare to think of the flavour? To even deign to consider the flavour that would come from Chicken McNougats.

And the texture! Oh! Woe, the texture! The fibrous flesh of the humble chicken’s breast and the oobleck of whatever nougat is. My heart’s burned. To be cooked in what? In a fryer? The oven? Some hybrid oven/fryer? Forsooth!

But the smell….. oh my… do not even consider the smell. We mustn’t consider the smell! How horrible to even consider the smell!

We should thank our lucky stars that they did not make Chicken McNougats. How horrible the world would be had it been Chicken McNougats and how blessed is ours that we did not get them.