2018’s Predictive New Years Resolutions and How Likely I’ll Be to Break Them


Me and Hildy will look forward to the future together.

You’re supposed to share your resolutions with other people. You’re more likely to keep them when there’s the threat of shame if you don’t follow through.

Or… wait, no:

You’re not supposed to share your resolutions with other people. Your own personal motivation to follow through on them is more fulfilling than your fear of ridicule for failure.

Or… hold on:

You’re supposed to share your resolutions with other people because they’ll support you and help you follow through on them.

Yeah, actually, it’s kind of unfortunate and telling that you assumed people would ridicule you for missing your resolutions. But, have you considered:

A resolution you keep to your chest will be more meaningful than a resolution everyone else knows about. Personal validation is more important than praise from others.

While that’s all well and good, you should also consider:


It’s a new year and I have a lot of stuff to improve, obviously. Adding one brick to a mostly crumbled wall isn’t going to fix much, but, y’know, you have to start somewhere. For next year, I’ve compiled a list of ten (10) resolutions, and I’m going to list them now from most feasible to least feasible. At the end of next year, I’m either going to make a recap post or pretend this post never happened.


Do Not Vomit at All

I went about three and a half years without vomiting between the first day of 2014 and the entirety of summer 2017. Then, one bad sandwich in August, and the vomit streak ended. Then, the streak that would’ve started after that ended after the bad day we don’t speak of in November. So… I guess… let’s start a Seinfeldian streak back up again.

Get Slightly Better at Piano

Screen Shot 2017-12-30 at 10.36.58 PM.png

In this video, I start out by playing an incorrect rendition of Shades of Rhythm’s song “Sound of Eden.” Regardless of the incorrectness and obscurity of the song, it’s a song nonetheless. I have the piano, I have a hell of a lot of time now, and getting slightly better than that rendition of a piano house song from the early nineties is absolutely doable.

Go to a Sports Game of One of the Sports that I’ve Never Seen Live

Here’s a list of every type of sport I’ve seen with mine own eyes in either a professional or semi-professional or collegiate context:

Football, basketball, baseball, volleyball, indoor football, softball, soccer, one freestyle motocross competition in 2003

To my knowledge, those are the sports I’ve seen. In 2018, I want to watch a game that I’ve never watched before. The remaining games I can think of are:

Ice hockey, tennis, indoor soccer, golf, slamball, swimming, track and field, some sort of winter olympiad, slamball, monster trucks, other assorted race cars, professional wrestling, boxing, kicking, kickball, Street Fighter V

Perhaps this is the year for one of them. The most obvious of those is ice hockey, but the closest venue for ice hockey is an hour away and I don’t care to drive that far. Maybe if I end up living in Minnesota I’ll take that plunge, though. Also, I don’t know where to go to see tennis on a reliable basis other than, like, Wimbledon, probably.


Make at Least One (1) Significant Wardrobe Change


My 2015 look was impeccable but I must move forward from it.

I’ve accidentally done this like each of the past few years but I think I’m going to make a concerted effort this year. In 2016, I added yellow to my color pallet. I wanted to add purple or teal last year, and I didn’t do that. I failed in that effort. This year I’m buying teal Pumas and a purple plaid shirt, or purple pumas or a teal plaid shirt, or possibly both. Mark my words.

Make One (1) Video Game

It doesn’t even have to be good. I’ve started learning some rudimentary game softwares and maybe something will come out of that. I’ve got some ideas, too. Not necessarily good ones, of course, but ideas nonetheless.


Get in to a Graduate School

And also start going there, I guess. That’s also in the pipeline. I have no idea whether I can do that or not, I’ve sent in the applications and all and I don’t really know yet. So chalk that up as a mystery resolution


100 Posts

I mean, like, wordpress posts. I don’t mean like Tweets. I’ll do one hundred tweets in a day if I damn please. This year, assuming I get this post up in 2017, I will have posted 62 times in the year. With the extra Football Hell posts, I’d be up at around 75. While 100 seems daunting, it’s only an extra 25, which I actually don’t think is impossible. I’m aiming to get back into written video game criticism this year, so look out for that to take up some of my posts here on the ol’ Joe Bush Dot Net in 2018. This is only a rate of two posts per week. This is doable. I probably won’t, given my history, but it’s definitely doable.

40 Vids


I counted, and I made 30 real youtube videos that weren’t just like clips put on a channel from my phone this year. My new goal is ten more.


Meet Someone Special

I mean, come on, now. I know what I’m workin’ with


Look at this guy. Look at that nose. Come on now.

Go to a different country I’ve never been to before

Yeah this is really pushin’ it. In 2016 and 17, I went to four new countries, two of which are the easy ones to get to from the US (Canada and Mexico). Still, this remains on the list because I think it’d be cool to get to like… New Zealand. Or Belgium. Or Belarus or something.

About Joe Bush

The guy behind JoeBush.net and a lot of other things
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