Joe Bush dot Net

Baby Fork. Baby Fork.

Baby Fork. Baby Fork. Baby Fork. Baby Fork.

Baby Fork. Baby Fork. Continue reading →

I’m out of school now. I’ve run out of it. I had a full jar of school and now it’s all empty. I need a next step. I’ve never had any delusions of immediately getting the job I’ll have for the rest of my life right after I finished college. That being said, the need for a next step isn’t going anywhere, and as long as I don’t have one, I’m not either.

So I suppose I’ve gotta find something. There are millions of careers out there, and maybe, just maybe, one of ’em’s got room for ol’ Joe Bush. I figure that I should start simple, with the thing I considered for like a solid two days in the third grade: Driving Monster Trucks

How tough could this be?

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Let me start this out by saying I’m officially commenting on current events apparently. I don’t know if I’ve done that in the past, but train theory persists.

We’re one day into 2018 and this year’s already gone into the shit. In 2017, the YouTube platform turned incredibly ridiculous, where both the guy I watched in high school and the guy I loudly proclaimed disdain for in high school turned out to be racists, and then also a dude just sort of made a vlog announcement of him and his wife’s divorce. Now, this isn’t new to me. I watch football. People revealing themselves as racists is just a part of the game.

Anyway, on this, the first day of 2018, a man went to a place where people commonly commit suicide and then filmed his reaction as he saw the corpse of one of those people who committed suicide. Continue reading →

Me and Hildy will look forward to the future together.

You’re supposed to share your resolutions with other people. You’re more likely to keep them when there’s the threat of shame if you don’t follow through.

Or… wait, no:

You’re not supposed to share your resolutions with other people. Your own personal motivation to follow through on them is more fulfilling than your fear of ridicule for failure.

Or… hold on:

You’re supposed to share your resolutions with other people because they’ll support you and help you follow through on them.

Yeah, actually, it’s kind of unfortunate and telling that you assumed people would ridicule you for missing your resolutions. But, have you considered:

A resolution you keep to your chest will be more meaningful than a resolution everyone else knows about. Personal validation is more important than praise from others.

While that’s all well and good, you should also consider:

THE CONTENT TRAIN STOPS FOR NO MAN

It’s a new year and I have a lot of stuff to improve, obviously. Adding one brick to a mostly crumbled wall isn’t going to fix much, but, y’know, you have to start somewhere. For next year, I’ve compiled a list of ten (10) resolutions, and I’m going to list them now from most feasible to least feasible. At the end of next year, I’m either going to make a recap post or pretend this post never happened. Continue reading →

Well, folks…

2017 was a whole year, wasn’t it? 365 whole days have happened so far, and they’re going to keep coming for some reason. Yet, in all 365 of those days, we decided as a society to make video games and play video games. I decided to do the latter of those things, and also write about them too.

I don’t talk about new games online all that much. This is my first video about  games that came out in 2017, which is bizarre considering I made multiple videos about American Football games that came out in the year 2000 this year. I decided to cut my deliberation down to one notecard’s worth of text per game as to save your time. I go very quickly through this video, but I manage to hit ten games, all of which get my highest recommendations.

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Me and a lot of Star Wars fans went to the movies this weekend. It’s a Solstice-time tradition at this point, and after “Rogue One”, I had hopes that this movie would pull some weight towards making the Star Wars franchise enjoyable again. It’s a shame that I was wrong, very wrong, and I can’t believe that Disney let this come out. Maybe I’m just adding to a constant stream of vitriol from my fellow StarFanz, but it’s important that this my opinion gets out there.

The 20 Minute “Dinosaurs” Short before the movie

You’ve got to love him, but not for 20 minutes before Star Wars. Drop this in front of Coco, but don’t mess with the Wars.

We can’t let the Jim Henson company piggyback off of Star Wars’ success here. It’s clear that this is a weather balloon to test audiences for a potential Dinosaurs comeback film. Well, let me say three things: Continue reading →

This week, the FCC or somebody voted to end the long-standing net neutrality requirement for internet usage in America. I read the first three sentences of the Wikipedia article for Net Neutrality, and boy am I steamed to be losing it. We tried everything, from yelling into the void to pretending that the rich motherfuckers at the top weren’t masturbating to that yelling, and, friends, it looks like the rich, coincidentally, will get what they want again.

Let’s not mince words here. The work on this site will rightfully be the first thing to be scrubbed from the internet if the powers at be are given the chance. They may be correct to do this, but I Will Not Stand For It. I will never cease posting. The format may have to change, but I Will Never Cease Posting. Here’s how you can continue reading my garbage once all goes dark unless it’s supported by Xfinity.

The Physical Plan

This is a mockup draft of the article I have planned for January 21st of 2018, it’s not what you’ll actually receive in this plan

It’s as simple as it sounds. A series of notecards with my writing mailed right to your door!  Continue reading →

Ernest Cline’s 2011 novel Ready Player One has rocketed its way back into the news recently due to Steven Spielberg’s upcoming film adaptation and this kid’s huge leg.

This kid’s long-ass leg is actually a genius 80’s reference to former Washington Bullets center Manute Bol

I haven’t read the original book, because I do not know how to read. However, through Deep Cyberspace VR hacking, I and the rest of the Joe Bush Dot Net Hack Team have managed to procure an early manuscript of Ready Player One’s sequel, and, oh boy, is it a book. Surprising nobody, the title to the sequel is “Ready Player Two.” I’ve picked out a few of my favorite excerpts here with minimal plot spoilers. Cline’s 80’s nerd reference-heavy rhetorical style reigns in Ready Player Two just as it did in the original –

“I opened my eyes. I must be back in the stacks, this isn’t anything like my house in VISTA, I thought. It was pitch black, like Subspace in Super Mario Bros. 2, which was called “Super Mario USA” in Japan but originally released as “Doki Doki Panic” because the real Super Mario Bros. 2 was deemed “too hard” for American gamers. I’d beaten both of them easily, though. I turned on my light with my hand and opened my eyes to see that my dick got cut off by a Gr3mlin”

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