Monday Update: 7/27/15

Posted on July 28, 2015 by Joe Bush

I’m back doing this, but I want to take a second to consider the format of this series of posts. So often I will struggle to think of new things to write about games I’ve played recently, especially after weeks of playing them. What can I really add about a game when I’ve been playing it on and off for 9 weeks? Often, I’ll just say what I did, and leave it at that. I want to do more than just “here’s what I played this week.” So, without further adieu a do adu ado, here’s what I played this week.

Without Further Adu. I spent like 12 minutes googling photos of Freddy Adu today to get a good photo for this joke.

Super Mario 64 (N64): I made it to 70 stars. I am now ready to defeat Bowser. I will keep telling myself this until I am actually ready to defeat Bowser in which case I will try like 4 times and then die. The video that goes up on YouTube will inevitably be either an hour and a half of me whining or 11 minutes of me miraculously completing it on the first try. There is no other possibility. I go back to a video I made in 2014, specifically the quote of my good friend Joe Devader, regarding the last time I played most of the way through Mario 64: “It was like watching somebody slowly realize that their favorite uncle was a drug dealer.” I’ve still never quite beaten the game, but this will be the first time coming up. Also, after this game will be somewhat of a rebranding of this ‘series’ from “ENSFG” to “Chron64”, where I play through the N64’s library chronologically. The reason for this name change is because I didn’t know there was a term for that sort of thing.

Virtua Racing (GEN):  As it turns out, I own all three console ports of Virtua Racing. This fact has somehow blossomed into a 2000+ word script on the three of them. This video will cover all three ports in depth and will feature an all-too in-depth opinion on all three of them. For a sneak peek, the 32X one earned the title “Deluxe”, the Genesis one is much better than it should be, and the Saturn one is much worse than it should be.

Wave Race 64 (N64): A video on this game will come out net Monday. Only one image of sneak peek will be provided:

vlcsnap-2015-07-27-23h46m02s50

That’s it, that’s all, that’s it.

Animaniacs (GEN): It’s like review-writing-mageddon (why do I use the same 2 or 3 suffixes for things like this? There’s like “-athon” “-omania” and “-mageddon” and I can’t think of that many others. I’m gonna think of others right now. “-stacean” as in “crustacean”, “-ination” as in “germination” or “-lotelli” as in “Mario Balotelli”.

Anyway I’m writing something about this one too. Also Metal Head and potentially NBA: In The Zone for the PS1. I’m in that weird bit of living where I want to do everything and will inevitably do something weird. Sort of like the failed “Blitz” of early 2014 but I’m not trying to stuff 7 videos into 7 days. Now it’s more like “just put something out please”.

Animaniacs is a mediocre game. I’ve heard the show is good but let me tell you, I’ve never seen any of it that I can remember.

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76 Things only KU Students Know

Posted on July 17, 2015 by Joe Bush

People may assume we’re all country boys and girls playing basketball in our fields of wheat, but us KU Students know better!

1. The cereal bar at Mrs. E’s

They have like every cereal you would want and some you wouldn’t! “Shredded Wheat”? What’s that even mean?

2. Game day at Allen Fieldhouse

The haunting Rock Chalk Chant, the newspaper confetti toss, Connor Teahan descending from the rafters wearing a bedsheet stained with so many opposing coaches’ blood, it’s all a part of the tradition.

3. Navigating Wescoe Hall

How can one building have so many and so few bathrooms at one time? Astounding.

4. People on Wescoe Beach

Just, they’re here, here they are, and they have things to speak

5. The Fountain

You see people swimming in it ever? That’s weird, huh?

Screen Shot 2015-07-17 at 12.27.48 PM

6. The Hill

Do other schools have a hill? Is this the only one? I don’t know but I gotta write 70 more of these

7. Buying Six Chicken Sandwiches from the Chik-Fil-A in the Wescoe Underground at once

“That’s too many” they say as you chomp into all six delicious White Meat patties at once. “You still owe $26 and that doesn’t even count your 3 Diet Sprites.”

8. ‘Two Violas’ Clark

Clark takes up six bus seats and plays Tears for Fears’ “Head Over Heels” repeatedly on Two Violas every Monday from 2:30 PM to 6:00 PM on the 43 line. Classic Clark

9. Bill Self

Enough said. 11 straight conference championships. 2 Final Fours. 1 National Championship. Deathly allergy to Iceberg lettuce.

10. Ted Owens

GET OUT OF THE BROOM CLOSET TED YOU DON’T WORK HERE ANYMORE

11. Burrito King

I’ve never been inside but it seems nice

Teahan

12. The dirt path between Dole and Mallott

A feat of ingenuity and design only KU Students could come up with

13. The Ghost of Tennis legend Bjorn Borg

I know he isn’t dead but that’s the weird thing. Why do I keep waking up to him telling me about how he beat McEnroe? I just want to sleep, Bjorn

14. The September Debates

It happens every September, KU’s best and brightest come to Wescoe 4032 to debate on morality on campus. Previous year’s themes have included “Do we need ‘Freshman Punching Day’ and ‘how much Nesquik is too much for the annual Nesquik-bath?”

15. Dumbass Steve

Ol’ Dumbass Steve can’t get a break can he? He’s got like 27 nails in his feet and is always wearing JNCOs.

16. Traditions Night

Ah yes, the night before class starts when we summon our lord and savior Paul Rudd to plant the first sword into the perfect sheep and begin the school year

17. Non-Traditions Night

Installed in 1994 to fit the needs of Non-Traditional school years. Less blood is shed but yet there’s more crying

18. Blues Traveler

“What are the guys from Blues Traveler doing here? Haha, weird!” That’s what we thought in October 2012. They’re still here and won’t leave, someone help.

19. Speaking in tongues to the Panda Express clerk

If you get the right one and recite “The Trinity Diagram” manuscript backwards, you’ll get 2 free egg rolls

20. The Lawrence Fun Run

$2000 dollars for the first person to complete the funniest run in town, stretching from 6th Street to 23rd Street down Iowa. Averages 2300 casualties per year

21. The Coldstone Creamery on Mass Street that is Constantly Burning

Nobody knows who set the fire, and no amount of water nor sand nor cold can relinquish it. It is the eternal flame of the city of Lawrence and the University of Kansas and when it does extinguish we shall all fall victim to the end of time. Pray that Coldstone burns for eternity.

22. The Jayhawk Boulevard Stampede

Every January students line up at the Oread to begin the Jayhawk Boulevard stampede, where, after a 30 second head start, 12 Oxen are released to chase the terrified students down. Those left untrampled will win 70% off any used textbook. This is the traditional beginning of every school year

23. Crunchy Chicken Cheddar Wraps

You can get these

big jay and me

24. October 13th

Every year on October 13th, Raef LaFrentz returns from wherever he is to just steal from everyone. Nobody knows why. I lost a tape deck and a bottle of Mountain Dew Code Red to him in 2014

25. Clarkson Hall

Clarkson Hall, the Computer Design building, only appears when you need it most. Those who have been inside tell amazing stories, yet no details of them can be written.

26. Bill’s Elf

Hey get down Elf, you’re not welcome in this establishment

27. The Old Chicago that is still definitely in town

It’s still there

28. The Hot Dog Goblin

This Goblin appears in front of the Wendy’s on 23rd and sells the greatest hot dogs you’ve ever tasted and all you have to give him is your soul. It’s like an eight month process where you convert to like 4 religions to get your soul back but it’s worth it.

29. Saying The Secret Words to get the Beans back from Charlie Weis

Charlie will steal your beans every once in a while. If you want them back just say “Do you know Jon Bon Jovi” and you’ll get them back.

30. Freshman Punching Day

STAY INSIDE FRESHMEN WHATEVER YOU DO. WE REALLY NEED TO STOP THIS DAY BECAUSE IT IS CONSTANT TERROR

31. Arguing with someone from Austin or Memphis or St. Louis about Barbecue sauce

This will happen at some point in your time here. You could be a Vegan and it will happen. Everyone believes their salty meat and sauce for it is the one true salty meat and sauce for it.

32. Losing a Staring Contest to Dana Stubblefield

I had no idea that a man’s eyes could stay open that long. Dear god, he stared into my soul and never let go of it.

33. Burgers from Burger Stand

It’s a whole stand full of burgers. Don’t ask for the Blood Burger.

34. The Lost Inscription

Some say it was written by the king of All Times, some say it contains the formula to save us all, some say reading it will destroy human life as we know it.

35. The Raincoat Monster

It comes every Thursday night at 3:30 AM to answer questions and solicit cash. Bring him an empty urn and sources say he will fill it with sea salt

36-64. The 28 Legendary Statues

Finding any one of these statues yields great wisdom. They are stashed in many places on campus and finding all 28, according to legend, will ascend the recipient to the highest plane of existence. This is no easy task, as the most ever found by one student is rumored to be only 25. The student graduated in six years and only appeared as a ray of light to 80% of the population by the end of their career.

65. Whittlin With Paul Rudd

Ol’ Paul shows up every once in a while and sings us a few songs and makes a few crafts for the populace. He never announces it but rarely does anyone show up.

big jay and me

66. Blood Day at DQ

It’s a franchised DQ so sometimes they do some special Lawrentian fares like Blood. For $1.25 a cup you can get Blood! Don’t ask where it’s from.

67. The Fox House

Located on some street, you’ll hear at least 35 Freshmen talk about The Fox House per day. Parties happen there?

68. The Oscar Night Burning of At Least One House

Every Oscar Night, a surprisingly inclusive Facebook group of people named “The Oscar Night House-Burners” travels to at least one house (only in 2007 did more than 2 houses get burned down) and just arsons it to the ground. Hope it’s not you!

mangino_v_obie

69. The Hawk

Nobody goes to The Hawk and leaves without a novelty foam cowboy hat. It’s the biggest KU tradition.

70. Free Bikes

They’re right there in front of every building and all you need is a big pair of hedge clippers! Free bikes await!

71. The Nesquik Bath

Every year the annual Nesquik Bath takes place within 12 Wading Pools in front of Summerfield Hall. Despite being a 22 year tradition, Nesquik still refuses to sponsor it.

72. Tupac Shakur

It’s really him. Don’t tell anyone.

73. Dollar Night

Unforgettable, life-altering things happen on dollar night. I saw a man chop his arm off in exchange for a Pabst Blue Ribbon and a handjob. I saw a woman land a triple backflip off of a table on to a keg directly into a keg stand. I saw Jesus Christ, drinking Rolling Rock of all things

74. Not Speaking to George

Because really, what can he actually offer to a conversation?

75. The Constant, Unending Turf War Between Chili’s and Applebee’s

I’m genuinely surprised that anyone still works at either location after all the bloody mid-street battles, many of which end with most (or in the case of the 2004 World Series Game 4 battle, all) participants slain. Only legend can tell what actually started this awful, awful war between Bar & Grill chains. We can only pray it ends soon and that we can once again enjoy our Awesome Blossums in peace.

76. The Rock Chalk Chant

Say it with me now…

“Roooooooooock

Chaaaaaaaaaalk

Jaaaaaaaaaaaay

Hey There Delilah What’s It Like in New York City You’re a Thousand Miles Away But Girl Tonight You Look So Pretty

Haaaaaaaaaaaaawk

Kayyyyyyy-You

*someone complains about the Woo*

Rooooooooooooock

Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaalk

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck Niiiiiiiiiike

Jaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaawk

Kaaaaaaaay-Youuuuuuuuuu

Spilllllllll The Bloooood of the Haaaaaaated Red Raaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiders

Rock Chalk Jayhawk KU

Rock Chalk Jayhawk KU

DAVID STERN RIGGED THE 2002 WESTERN CONFERENCE FINALS!!!!

big jay and me

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IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME UPDATE 7/10/15

Posted on July 11, 2015 by Joe Bush

I was in Minnesota for the past two weeks without any internet or TV connection so I didn’t have time to really put anything on this site. I also only really had access to my PS Vita, 3DS, and the scant few games on my Mac so this update might feel a little strapped for games. However, these past two weeks, I was able to play far more than typical. Typically, I play a game for like 2 or 3 hours a week at most. This week, I added seven hours into one game, and four into another.

Suikoden (PSV): Sixth Appearance, Sixth Straight Appearance

You know that feeling when cutting wrapping paper and the scissors hit a smooth glide? That’s what happened this week. I added about 7 hours into this game over the course of about 5 days on the Vita, then it ran out of battery, I put it on the cord to charge, and picked up my 3DS to start back into a different game.

This game is exactly what I wanted from what is effectively Baby’s First JRPG (it’s not actually my first JRPG, I played a little bit into Final Fantasies VII and IX back in high school, but this is the first one I’ve been invested in). The characters, the strategies (the rune system, picking individual characters for specific situations, etc)  make for a much more investing RPG experience for me, the first one I’ve ever really had – if you can’t tell by the fact that I am unable to properly criticize this game.

I recommend it, though, for what that’s worth, and I’ve actually played quite a bit of it. The good thing about longer games like this is that I still have quite a bit left to experience, and I’m actually excited about it.

Paper Mario: Sticker Star: Second Appearance, Last Appearance 5/26/14

After all of the hullaballoo from E3, I realized one major thing: People really, really don’t like Paper Mario: Sticker Star. You ask certain people about it, they’ll say either “it was pretty good” or “this game betrayed me and destroyed the good name of Paper Mario forever.”

I fall into that first camp, and I actually was inspired to pick it up again after listening to a podcast (I don’t remember if it was VidjiagameApocalypse or From US to You!) and someone described it as “more of a Sierra RPG than the earlier Paper Mario RPGs”.

Longtime readers of my writings (all like, Ben and my Dad of you) will remember that I enjoy Sierra RPGs. The only thing I need for them is the typical thing I need that I always end up ashamed-of-but-not-too-ashamed-of: the GameFAQs walkthrough. I used one for Suikoden as well, but that was because I would forget where I was supposed to go when I’d pick the console back up. However, knowing some things in advance (and not all things, of course, typically just the Thing Stickers that I’d need for specific fights and little else) made it a better experience overall.

I’ve enjoyed the humor as well. Much of the criticism from people I know revolves around the humor, specifically that it’s eroded from the comedic value of the second game in the series, The Thousand Year Door. I’ve never played it. Maybe I don’t know what I’m missing, sure (I’ve actually heard multiple people say that), but I’ve enjoyed the sort of surrealistic value of finding a lifelike trumpet or high heel within the paper-scrap world. The supporting character, Kersti, is a good guide through the game, I don’t have any problems with the stickers in battle, it’s a much different system than used by other games.

My point is, it’s been enjoyable this whole time and my experience has been positive with it.

Duke Nukem 3D (PC): I don’t care whether or not I played this before

I went to a Caribou Coffee to download this from GOG, took it home, then played it for like 15 minutes and I don’t like it that much. Someone berated me on an old forum in 2009 because I said I wasn’t interested in Duke Nukem Forever and that I thought it would be a boring game and Duke was an outdated character. They said to try Duke Nukem 3D, as it has impeccable level design, and Duke Nukem is actually a good character. This week I dictated that none of that was actually true. Duke Nukem 3D is a bad game and so is Duke Nukem Forever. Trust me. I run a blog named after my own name.

Check out the new 2015 JoeBush.Net Banner and layout! I may test out a different font or color scheme in the coming months, so stay tuned if you care about that stuff.

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Monday Update: 6/22/15

Posted on June 22, 2015 by Joe Bush

I’ve been working the past two weeks so I’ve had little time off, so I really haven’t played too many games unfortunately.

Madden 2002 (GC): Twelfth Appearance, Eighth Straight Appearance

Oh baby the Life don’t stop here. No sir, we’re on a 3 game win streak, we’ve clinched a winning record and will likely end up in the playoffs. If I win out in these last two weeks, I’ll probably have home-field advantage (that is, If I’m doing my math right). This game is big because it showed a victory over a team in overtime while it at least looked like the wheels were falling off the game.

Madden 2003 (XBOX): Third Appearance, Last Appearance 1/12/14

The last time this game appeared on the Monday Update, it was the Sunday Update and I didn’t keep track of the statistics of how many games I played which week. This week, I’ve started a new franchise on YouTube.

Ah, yes, the 2002 Chiefs. A team that I actually have some experience with, and a team with players that I’ve heard of. We lose game 2, unfortunately, but week 1 was a good example of how well a good passing offense can work alongside a strong run-game.

Suikoden (PSV): Fifth Appearance, Fifth Straight Appearance

I beat that boss I was complaining about last time sometime within the past 2 weeks. I don’t remember when

FIFA 15 (XBONE): Second Appearance, Last Appearance 6/1/15

Longtime FIFA players – Has it always been weirdly difficult to be even sort of accurate on Penalty Kicks? I know I’m not good at the game but I didn’t expect to send like 4 PKs in a game over the top of the goal. Just sort of surprising to me, I guess. Otherwise, this plays well. However, I would still probably rather stick with Pro Evolution Soccer if only it contained better licensing. That’s not to say FIFA is bad, but it’s just not what I like that much and I’m not into German or Brazillian leagues. Having the ability to play with clubs I’m interested in a still-good game is better for me than playing with someone I don’t know in a slightly better game. Those are my priorities and I’m sticking to them and I only feel slightly bad about it.

MLS ExtraTime 2002 (GC): First Appearance

Earlier Sports of the Day-style ideas are starting to creep back in to my videos again. This July will be the second anniversary of Sports of the Day oddly enough, starting on July 4th, 2013. It doesn’t feel that way because it only sort of picked up in October of 2014, but it’s been around. I stop working tomorrow so I’ll have time again to do actual things. Tell me any suggestions you have as long as they’re not just “play more interesting games” because that’s a given.

k

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Reactions to several things that happened Sunday night

Posted on June 15, 2015 by Joe Bush

Last night featured the most happening things in one night of all time for me. At least three large events, only one of which I thought I actually cared about. Last night would be a great night on Twitter for me if I had thought to ever properly hashtag anything. Today, I am forced to pick up the pieces of what happened last night.

Before I actually get started, please start listening to the first fifteen seconds of “Walking on Broken Glass” by Annie Lennox:

I heard this song on the radio the other day and I was interested to listen to it again yesterday, but I got distracted by all of the many things going on. Pause it after fifteen seconds then listen to the rest of it at like 1:30 in the morning for the full effect.

NBA FINALS

https://twitter.com/joebush_joebush/status/610231550664294400

THE TWEET THAT STARTED IT ALL! Steph Curry generally speaks primarily in hushed tones in interviews for some reason, I don’t know why this is. Doris Burke at least went along with it.

https://twitter.com/joebush_joebush/status/610244373263990784

I thought JR was going to take this game for the Cavs. For the Cavs to win, they need to think back to the ’91 Bulls, a team with one all-time great at his peak (and Pippen and Grant) and a group of mid-level players. JR would be the John Paxson in this situation, I think. For the Cavs to win, they need JR, Mozgov, and Tristan Thompson to score, because they’re the best non-LeBron players still standing on this team.

https://twitter.com/joebush_joebush/status/610247412997689345

He went on to score 0 points in the second half

https://twitter.com/joebush_joebush/status/610248581040070656

Self-Explanatory. However, I want to cite an SBNation comment I made earlier in the season –

Lee’s getting older (I mean, he played on a team with Jalen Rose at one point) and, like a lot of big men, he hasn’t been as important as a starter. I think once the playoffs come around, having a player as good as David Lee (and Andre Iguodala, too, while we’re at it.) coming off the bench can only be a good thing.

This is like the first time I’ve seen David Lee all year and he’s sure playing Basketball

https://twitter.com/joebush_joebush/status/610249202665308161

https://twitter.com/joebush_joebush/status/610250185847889920

https://twitter.com/joebush_joebush/status/610251903046254593

I had to correct myself because I automatically feel bad about saying anything good about Matthew Dellavedova because the “I don’t watch the NBA” crowd has really attached itself to Delly

https://twitter.com/joebush_joebush/status/610252730246914048

I do pity the fact that he isn’t *that* good though

https://twitter.com/joebush_joebush/status/610273672532635648

This was after a lucky And-1 from Iggy. They’re doomed. Maybe Lebron kills it in game six but unless Kevin Love is suddenly back for game seven, they’re doomed.

https://twitter.com/joebush_joebush/status/610274209957154816

I’m really happy to see him succeeding in the Finals. Him and David Lee both.

https://twitter.com/joebush_joebush/status/610274549985185792

I felt really smart about that one. RIP Delly, you’ll take someone down while looking like they took you down in heaven someday.

https://twitter.com/joebush_joebush/status/610290541406728192

Play me off, paul

NINTENDO WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS 2015

Most of the jokes I had in tweets here only worked for immediately as the show was happening. I’m not equipped to talk about esports or professional Smash or whatever, but Mario Maker looks really, really cool. Effectively “If Nintendo announces an Animal Crossing game for Wii U at E3 I’ll buy a Wii U because there are at least 5 games I want for it now” cool. My only issue is that it will be 60 dollars most likely which is a little too much for me.

Now I don’t care that much for E-Sports, mainly because the big games aren’t that interesting to me. It’s like Hockey or Rugby, I haven’t played Starcraft or DOTA or League of Legends and I don’t have that great of a frame of reference for what’s good and what’s bad, and I don’t appreciate high level play because I don’t know what it looks like. In terms of Mario, however, I’ve played that shit since birth, and I can definitely appreciate when a level looks like it’ll kill a man.

Speaking of which, this game is going to run Twitch and bring back the Mario ROM Hack video era started by the Super Mario Frustration guy and never actually topped by anyone.

The best thing I could’ve said about this event was in the SMYN Skype Chat:

The NWCs are “I brought my laptop into the bathroom cause I didn’t want to miss anything” good

I’ll leave it at that. Interesting new games built upon classics. That’s what Nintendo does.

E3 2015

Hey so there’s a new Doom. I was already interested in a new Doom. However, I didn’t know I was interested in a new Fallout until I saw it last night. This means I need to try out Fallout 3 again, meaning I need to find a cheap used copy of it or buy it on PC at some point (if I ever own a good PC). Point it, night one of E3 left me satisfied.

MY DOG

https://twitter.com/joebush_joebush/status/610260199555756032

Teddy can be an asshole sometimes. This was one of those times.

Sunday, June 14th, 2015 ended in the most interesting 5 or 6 hours I’ve seen from one day in a long time. Probably ever, and I was home alone with my dog watching it progress on a computer and a TV at the same time. It was a lot of fun for the most part. Of course, I stayed up late and didn’t sleep well afterwards and today’s gonna be rough. I’m tired, I don’t want to move, and I definitely need to take some vitamins or something. Everything kinda hurts, feels just like I’m Walking On Broken Glass

(unpause the song you opened at the beginning of the post)

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Monday Update: 6/8/15

Posted on June 9, 2015 by Joe Bush

It’s one of those days where I can tell fewer and fewer people are reading or watching or whatever by the week, so congratulations for sticking around. It has officially been a year and a half of Sunday/Monday Updates.

Suikoden (PSV): Fourth Appearance, Fourth Straight Appearance

I’m surprised in myself and my ability to continue playing a JRPG as long as I have. Today I got genuinely frustrated with a boss fight and then figured out that I had done basically nothing I was supposed to do before it. For instance – you can level up weapons, I had no idea. I hadn’t attached a clone rune to Viktor, which is something I should’ve obviously done beforehand and I hadn’t even thought about it. Hopefully I’ll progress a little more next week, even though I failed for about 3 hours, only 45 minutes ended up in my log. This is like baby’s first RPG here for me so give me at least a little bit of slack.

I named the main character Seinfeld, by the way. That was hilarious to me as I started the game and still comes back to be hilarious today. “Seinfeld, how could you do this to us?” “You sure your boy Seinfeld can be a great warrior?” or my favorite – “M-master Seinfeld”

Madden 2002 (GC): Eleventh Appearance, Seventh Straight Appearance

WE 8-5 NOW BABY, NO MORE LOSSES BABY, NFC EAST CHAMPS COMIN BABY. The last really hard test is on the road in Philly to avenge a 20 point loss earlier in the season. I have already filmed a Madden 2003 video and expect it on Tuesday, which is technically today as I write this. I’m guessing after this two-game win-streak we’ve pulled off we’ll probably go 2-1, which should be enough to secure us in the playoffs.

NBA Jam: Tournament Edition (32X): Fifth Appearance, Last Appearance 5/18/15

I don’t know why but I keep coming back to this game when I’m bored. I played the original Genesis version earlier this week for a few days but the cartridge has basically disappeared into thin air somehow. If anyone sees my Genesis NBA Jam cart anywhere out and about send it back to me please, I miss it dearly.

This isn’t a controversial statement at all outside of a very select few people, but the 32X version is the best port of NBA Jam: Tournament Edition available (unless the Jaguar version is really good, I haven’t tried it). The Saturn and Playstation version at least seem to be about the same, and though they’re closer to the arcade version, they’re very slow-moving, unlike actual basketball or at least unlike the arcade original, and the players are huge. The SNES and Genesis versions somehow have reverse-scaling, meaning they don’t have any scaling at all, meaning a player looks taller the further away you get from the camera. The scaling (and the players’ faces as well) are present and there’s still a decent pace to the game. The sound is subpar, but at least there’s background music unlike in the Super Nintendo version. This paragraph probably didn’t send anybody into fits of rage, but I try as hard as I can.

Adventure (VCS): First Appearance

I’ve been put on showmeyournews.com to do a “guest Let’s Play”. However, when all the regular participants have grown weary, I will still be playing this stupid Atari game. There are eight episodes in total and I have little general idea of what my next game will be. (Though I’ve given considerable thought to NBA Jam: TE in all actuality. The network doesn’t tend to skew towards sports games, though, so we’ll see.)

Super Mario 64 (N64): Ninth Appearance, Last Appearance 5/25/15

I’m just so damn good at this game, aren’t I? I must be, if I can do something like this. Not included are the three times I tried to get 100 coins in Whomp’s Fortress and ended up falling off of the level about three times.

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Monday Update: 6/1/15

Posted on June 2, 2015 by countrichtertoffen

I get very few views on this little blog so I figured, hey, why not just cut out the middle-man and put out a Monday Update at like 1:30 AM on a Tuesday? Not better than 1:30 PM on a Tuesday, but, hey, whatever floats my own boat at the site that I maintain and own.

Halo: Master Chief Collection (XBONE): Fifth Appearance, Last Appearance 2/17/15

I hardly ever play multiplayer online games anymore, including this game that I bought back in December in order to do just that. In fact, I actually used the Monday Update to determine if I qualified for the free ODST DLC given to people who purchased the game prior to December 17th, 2014 (I bought it on the 20th. I did not qualify and will have to pay extra to play a game I’m not sure if I still own or not. I do want to play it, though.)

Anyway, I had a friend over and we played this game for five hours straight. That was probably the first time I had done that since January when I did that for 24 straight hours, and let me tell you, it felt really good. I used to be really skeptical when Nintendo would say that multiplayer gaming was done best in person, I mean, I had some great times on Counter-Strike and Call of Duty back in high school, but they’re basically right. The Halo series was always ahead of the Call of Duty games (back when I cared about that in the 9th grade) in the department of “Joint In-Person and Online Multiplayer” (JIPOM for short if you’re in the biz), where two players on one console could have a good time playing online games together. This is what happened in this particular situation.

Anyway, I made a realization that night that shook me to my core (it really didn’t shake me to my core but it was a realization nonetheless) and that’s that I will likely never put as much time into any game as I did the games I really loved in high school. I will never have the time to do that again until I’m either retired or my “Multi-Tiered Zip-Off Pant System” (MTZOPS for short, pronounced mit-zops if you’re in the biz) patent is purchased by Old Navy or somebody and I get to retire at 21. Those games, like Counter-Strike: Source, Skate 3, NCAA Football 12, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, and Mario Kart 7 were played constantly by me between 2009 and 2013, and I’ll likely never reach the amount of time spent on those games individually again. Later on this list is a 20-hour JRPG, relatively short by comparison to other games, and I’m wondering if I’ll be able to get all the way through it. I really don’t know, and that’s weird for me, where I used to desire those 100+ hour experiences (like I’ve heard The Witcher III is), now I don’t know about it.

Part of that is my own fault, because I like to spread my gaming experiences out, that’s why there’s typically 4-6 games on the Monday Update each week. If I put all the hours I spent on games in a week into one game (like I did in a bizarre experiment in High School, wherein I played exclusively Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City for the SNES for like 2 weeks in attempt to know it front and back. I never beat it.) I would probably end up totaling that, but where’s the fun in that? Secondly, and more obviously, I’m growing up, I have a job now, I’m in college. Crazy to know that in the future, that time’s going to be even more sparse. I just want to enjoy these games while I can. It’ll never be fully extinguished from my life, but gaming is undeniably going to have to take a backseat to other things. In 10 years I’ll probably be doing something else, probably not keeping up this blog, probably not playing half of the games I do now, unless I make it my job somehow. Gaming isn’t quite slipping away from me, because that would imply that it’ll be fully gone from my life at some point, and I don’t think that will really happen, I’ll probably die playing like NBA Showtime for the Dreamcast at age 84, still complaining about Luc Longley hitting uncharacteristic threes (Luc Longley will be long dead by the time I’m 84, also). But I didn’t even notice as the unhealthy sessions of five hours after school on CS:S mini-games will probably never come back. I’ve changed as a person and gaming has changed around me.

Also, the matchmaking is fixed. That’s good, hit me up on XBOX Live at the gamertag “web patron”

Suikoden (PSV): Third Appearance, Third Straight Appearance

I honestly didn’t think I had it in me, but I continued in Suikoden. Like in most games, my favorite character died early on before I really got to know them, then my other favorite character died (or, effectively died). It’s going great but it’s not “Oh I’m playing DanganRonpa and I already don’t like the writing because they’re killing all the people I like and we’re only like 2 hours in” great. I’m gonna keep playing, is what I’m saying.

NBA 2K15 (XBONE): Fifteenth Appearance, Last Appearance 5/4/15

The old beast roars to life with a call of “you won two games in a row to snap a 3-game losing skid in MyCareer, also you’ve learned to not sprint all the fucking time winding you tired as hell in the final 4 minutes of the game.” I’m just gonna stop telling you when I’ve played 2K from now on.

Madden 2002 (GC): Tenth Appearance, Sixth Straight Appearance

I prefer the videos I make when I edit them down, and I enjoy making them, but nobody watches them for some reason. Oh well, the Life are 7-5 and the next few weeks will decide whether or not we’re a playoff team or not. Stay tuned! Also, Mario 64 videos will return next week, along with my first ever Let’s Play on a real-ass website.

Trials Fusion (XBONE): oh god I gotta go look up the last time I played Trials Fusion?

Quietly, this was my GOTY of 2015. It still remains there in my mind, though Freedom Planet is probably actually a game I enjoyed a little more so who knows. I got really angry at it today, though, and I stopped playing it. I’m just rusty and I don’t want to take the time to learn it back again. Whoops.

Metal Head (32X): JOE GO TO BED YOU’VE WRITTEN 1100+ WORDS ALREADY, Second Appearance, Second Straight Appearance

I got fooled by a fake code online today. I tried doing a level select code I saw on like 4 different websites (the only site I saw to dispute it was somebody’s actual fan site oh my god I’m not the only person who cares about the fucking 32X). It was like traveling back to 2006 when my friends got duped by fake codes for the game based off of Peter Jackson’s King Kong on the PS2. Amazing rush. I still can’t beat the game, though, so that’s a different problem.

FIFA 15 (XBONE): First Appearance

I bought this last week, though I didn’t put it in the Update ’cause I’m a dummy sometimes and I forget sometimes. I want to get into other countries’ soccer leagues, this seems like a place to start. I have basically picked Southampton to be my favorite club in the Premier League, ending a few weeks of #JoesDecision2 controlling the twitter airwaves.

contemplating

oh god did I really write all of that?

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Monday Update: 5/25/15

Posted on May 25, 2015 by countrichtertoffen

Suikoden (PS1): Second Appearance, Second Straight Appearance

I’m like 2 hours into a JRPG, a genre I haven’t put too much time into. I think the furthest I ever got in a JRPG was like 15 hours into Final Fantasy VII, which I admittedly liked and wanted to continue playing but my memory card failed. I have wanted to try JRPGs again for a while now, probably the first time since 2012 during the “Final Fantasy Challenge” in which I tried to play every PlayStation Final Fantasy game. It stopped after a week, I saved myself into a corner in FFIX. JRPGs, Real-Time Strategy games, and 1-on-1 fighting games are the three genres I’m going to try to hit the hardest this year, so I can become a better-rounded player.

Super Mario 64 (N64): Eighth Appearance, Last Appearance 5/4/15

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE THIS STAR. I HATE THE SNOWMAN AND I HATE HIS HEAD

After the recording finished, I tried getting on snowman’s big head in Snowman’s Land about five more times, failing each time. The last time, I threw my hat off in frustration. I looked at Mario’s hat, in game, on top of the little ice-maze thing, then my own hat, against my bathroom door. Mario’s patted-down hat-hair compared with my own patted-down hat-hair. Both of us defeated by the giant snowman.

Earlier in the episode, I managed to face my fears in this game. For years the teeth of the living piano in Big Boo’s Haunt terrified me away from that level. I was prepared for this playthrough to re-trigger the terror of me in 2001, staying away from our family’s own piano in fear of said teeth. I don’t know where that piano is now, it may well be in the same place it always was and we never got rid of it, I know nobody’s played it in years if so. Fears of these fake things are just that – fake. All fears are fake. Fear nothing.

Madden 2002 (GC): Ninth Appearance, Fifth Straight Appearance

I think it took me like four or five tries to get this video made. Either my mic wasn’t plugged in, I was interrupted, or something else each time. The last time, I managed to get the victory over in-division rival Arizona in a two-touchdown comeback. The defense in the third and fourth quarter ended up winning me the game, though the run game still hasn’t been fixed. 6-4 isn’t a bad record, but we’ll see how the next six games end up. I figure I should be 4-2 and I’ll make the playoffs, though that might be a kind of tough task to take on. Mike Vick is coming into his own as a player, though, which is exactly what I need now. As long as he keeps playing at a high level and I continue to win on the deep threat.

Metal Head (32X): First Appearance (I think)

I don’t know if I’ve documented the times I’ve played this game within the past year and a half, but I’m trying to get a review made of this game in video. I’ll save you the details because they’ll be in the video I theoretically make.

NBA Live 2003 (XBOX): Third Appearance, Last Appearance 5/5/14

I love going back to the old blog and looking at the games I played about a year or so ago. Last year I was doing “The Name Game”, in which I pitted nine starting-fives of players with the same last names against each other. This year, I’m working on what I’ll call “One Last Ride”, inspired by a YouTube comment from a few weeks ago on this video. It involved trading Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen back to the Bulls in games when the two of them were on the Washington Wizards and Portland Trail Blazers, respectively. This involves getting MJ, Pippen, Kukoc, Grant, and any of the other players from those ’90s teams onto the ’02 Bulls and seeing if I can win the NBA Finals. I just finished the first round and I’m actually excited to at least detailed what happened on this blog, if not put it into a video.

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I Went to a Baseball Game on Tuesday

Posted on May 23, 2015 by Joe Bush

So I went to a baseball game on Tuesday. I assume the title presented that information in enough detail. The game was between the hometown boys the Kansas City Royals and the othertown boys the Cincinnati Reds (it took me three tries to spell the word Cincinnati) Anyway here’s what I thought.

1. We build really big stadiums for these sports

I haven’t been in the upper deck at Kauffman since I think 2004 at a Cub Scout event, but the relatively inexpensive seats (11 dollars) and still good view of the game.

https://instagram.com/p/24jdZliUXH/

That’s good. Though it started raining around the 5th inning, we were far enough away from the field that we were under the awning at the top of the stadium. The crowd atmosphere at Kauffman is generally friendly, especially on a Tuesday night game in mid-May.

2. People in Kansas City like to talk to other people about Kansas City

I understand why we do this. I mean, I’m from here and rarely does anyone ask me about here, so when people do, I have things to say. The first thing anyone asks me about is barbecue. I tell them I’ve never been to Arthur Bryant’s and that I don’t really have a big preference in terms of sauce or who makes the meat or anything of the sort. The second thing I inevitably end up saying is “yeah Kansas side, but most of the stuff is in Missouri. It can be a little confusing but you get used to it.” Then, the conversation ends. Anyway, my point is that a guy on the escalator informed my friend Mike that Kauffman is a great place to see a game right after the game we had just seen at Kauffman, and right after he had explained that it was not his first time coming to a game at Kauffman.

3. Great Place to See a Game

Just a great ballpark. I like our fountains but I still miss the white Chevy Silverado that sat in left field for like 8 years. Also that big screen is indeed very big. Much bigger than a small screen, that’s for sure.

4. I Spent $23.50 on Papa John’s

Personal cheese pizza, breadsticks, souvenir cup of Diet Mountain Dew, and some sort of garlic butter substance cost me nearly 25 dollars. What a country.

5. I was Wrong About Baseball All These Years

That game was like 2 hours and 20 minutes! How, you ask? I have no idea. Well, actually, it was because it was a game between two high-quality pitchers in Johnny Cueto and Yordano Ventura, so the scoring was basically only in one run chunks in 3 separate innings. I used to say that i hated baseball because “every game is like 4 hours long” which doesn’t make that much sense to me now not only because that’s not true at all, but also because why would I dislike something that was four hours long? That sounds amazing, as long as there’s consistent action and I’m not just waiting for something to happen. I assume that’s why auto racing is so popular. That and the alcohol and the chance that a car flies through the air after being hit by three other cars.

6. The Royals are Good

Well we all knew that last year but yup, they still are. It’s a lot more difficult to get through Kauffman this year than it was in years past. Last year, in mid July, I secured third-row seats behind the left field wall for 30 dollars the day of the game. In games I went to back in the late-aughts, we barely had to walk through any big crowds before the gates. This new clutter of fans is due to the fact that the Royals are good, and that’s fine. Most people want to watch a good team, as it turns out.

7. I Need to Pick a Favorite English Premiere League Team

The people I went to knew a lot about the EPL. I know next to nothing about it. My goal for the rest of the year is to know something about it. #JoesDecision2

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Monday Update: 5/18/15

Posted on May 18, 2015 by Joe Bush

Last week was finals week. I had real things to do. This week I don’t have real things to do.

Madden NFL 2002 (GC): Eighth Appearance, Fourth Straight Appearance

ughhhhh

UGHHHHH

AUGHGHGAHGVHAGHGHGHHAGHGHHGHH

MADDEN 2002 IS HELL

LOS ANGELES IS HELL

LIFE IS HELL

I can’t describe how and why everything goes to shit when I play Madden 2002. I’ve tried to record the next week’s episode three times now and I’ve either broken down or had to do something else each time. Next time will be better, I keep telling myself, but deep down I know that’s false. I’m doomed to sit through a season of losing on increasingly dumber and dumber ways. The next series I’ll start up will probably either be NCAA Football 2003, NBA Live 2003, or ESPN NFL 2K5, but I don’t know.

Suikoden (PS1): First Appearance

I listen to a number of video game podcasts, and once Suikoden 2 was released on the Vita about a month or two ago, I kept hearing the praises of this series. I’ve always wanted to get into JRPGs, so a game that was generally described as “Shorter and more accessible than most other JRPGs” would be a good place for me to start. I’m only about an hour and a half in, and I’m enjoying it. It’s a good game to play on a long car ride or when you have a few minutes to spare, the story can be experienced in segments fairly well.

As with most games, I’ll be better versed in this next time once I’ve played it some more. I’m liking it so far.

NBA Jam: Tournament Edition (32X): Fourth Appearance, Last Appearance 5/19/14

Never let anyone tell you that I don’t care about the Monday Update because I definitely just looked up a game that I vaguely remembered playing at some point last year, and I was right. For whatever reason I keep playing NBA Jam against people who have never played it before. This time, it was my sister, and I lost to her. This would make a terrible e-sport, yet a very enjoyable one to watch. I would pay to watch very serious players get angry because the game decided to gift Alonzo Mourning with a 3-quarter court shot with five seconds left in the game, then promptly clanking a would-be Hakeem Olajuwon game-winning dunk off the back of the rim.

Granted, that’s basically the premise behind the competitive Tecmo Super Bowl scene, but Jam is far less predictable and way, way more cheap. At least in TSB you can run out of bounds to avoid fumbling, but in Jam there’s no getting around lenient goaltending calls and Anthony Peeler randomly blocking David Robinson.

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