Monday Update: 1/12/14

Posted on January 12, 2015 by countrichtertoffen

So I didn’t put a Monday Update up last week for a variety of reasons involving a series of criteria, all of which must be correct in order for me to make myself write and then post an update.

Anyway, the first update of 2015! And what a year it will be. Let’s look back at the first update of 2014. It featured a lot of games that I haven’t played since last January. Time will tell if I can say the same thing next year.

Forza Horizon 2 (XBONE): First Appearance

You know when you first try a game out, and it gives you a feeling you haven’t felt before? I felt that way about a year ago when I played AntiChamber for the first Sunday update. AntiChamber’s puzzle solving gave me the same feeling of mystery and excitement that Portal gave me. For whatever reason, Forza 2 has given me, for the first time since Christmas morning 2008, the same feeling of excitement for open world exploration and experimentation that the first Skate. game gave me. That original Skate. game shaped my history in gaming in a way that I never thought it would, really introduced me to the fact that I could enjoy open-world games and I could have fun in an online setting. Forza’s drivatars recreates that feeling of knowing that I’m in a real world populated by real people or cars or representations of people.

I’ve made jokes before about wanting a game based in driving around real world cities, like “Google Streetview: The Game” as my sister would call it, but I actually would totally play that game and just learn about new cities. There’s probably an issue with privacy in a game like that (and “The Crew” apparently does that as well).

Halo: Master Chief Collection: Second Appearance, Second Straight Appearance

The Matchmaking hasn’t really been fixed to my liking, but this remake of the first game is great! I had so much more patience for this game’s brand of hard as shit back when I played it in high school, and I didn’t even finish it then. I’m older now (by like 3 years) and I won’t feel bad about dropping the difficulty level down a bit.

Halo 5: First Appearance

On the last Unprofessional Fridays of 2014, Drew Scanlon played an early version of the beta for a few minutes. I only really remember one statement that he made: “It’s Halo.” Now, of course, it’s Halo, but what he really meant was that it really felt like Halo should feel. The last Halo I played was Reach back in 2010, and I remember being unsatisfied with how the multiplayer played. It didn’t feel like Halo. Even with a number of additions, I can confirm that Halo 5 feels like a Halo game should.

Mega Man Soccer: First Appearance

http://www.twitch.tv/readthemanualcast/b/609854737

Steakin’, Ghost Passes, GNUs, and competitive Mega Man Soccer for the Super Nintendo coming this 2015. Look out for the Capcom Cup in March.

I played 24 hours of Mega Man games yesterday and let me tell you: Mega Man doesn’t change much over time. Good-as-shit levels followed by a difficult boss and then I stop playing. Hard to keep that up for 24 hours. Luckily, next year’s 24 hour cast is Mario games and should be more varied and I won’t hate every game in the series by the end of it.

NBA 2K15: Eighth Appearance, Last Appearance 12/22/14

I got a triple-double for the first time in MyCareer so that’s good. I keep losing games but I think that’s mostly the Kings and the fact that my character keeps playing the entirety of the third and fourth quarters and needs an IV by the end of the game.

I’ll leave you this week with this:

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Dailies for the Week of 12/29/14 ~ 1/3/15

Posted on January 5, 2015 by countrichtertoffen

MONDAY

Without question, this is the best title I have ever bestowed upon a video. The Chiefs won, by the way, and I’m glad I brought my shitty camera. I need to invest in a small sporting event camera that I can take to as many sporting events as I can, and record a small series of vids.

TUESDAY

Well, sorry that I like to make videos and I like to have a bit of direction. Some of that maybe includes random narcissism

WEDNESDAY

I tried to upload this last week, and it finally went up this week! Great job, Joe! You ate a terrible thing, which turned into black burnt sugar.

FRIDAY

It took me a few days to compile this, sorry. A lot of these vids were supposed to be parts of a few different series throughout the year. Lobby gymnastics, Dunk School, the Best Buy Super Smash Bros. Demo thing, The Baseball game, Games and That Podcast, RIP The Couch, all that. I have a lot of ideas and not all of them are good

SATURDAY

I knew pouring Chef Boyardee into a bowl and filming it was a great idea. Sorry I skipped Thursday

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The 2014 Update

Posted on December 31, 2014 by Joe Bush

Note: Images of myself will be inserted throughout this post
S2190012

We come to the end of the year celebrating life, believing in the bright hopes of next year, and driving to Taco Bell in the bitter cold. I did one of those things earlier today. With the end of the year comes the expected end of the year awards, and luckily, I have been keeping public weekly logs of what I played. I’m going to start with the statistical awards, based upon the quantifiable aspects of keeping up the update all year.

Game I Played the Most this Year: 

NBA 2K14 (X360): Eleven Appearances

2K14 was purchased back in March, and led to eleven of the most frustrating weeks of my life. I would never say I was ever good at this game, even against fairly easy AI. Thus, I never really enjoyed it, and I trudged through loss after loss until I finally gave up and bought the version on the XBOX One. Very rarely have I wanted to be good at a game so badly that I would play it joylessly for eleven weeks, but I paid the full 60 dollar price for it and I really wanted to be good at an NBA game. Plus, the playoffs were going on for most of the time that I had it, so I could only think about basketball.

This game’s reign ended in the most depressing of ways for any game – obsolescence. I bought the XBOX One version (a far better-feeling game of basketball, by the way) and I never went back to the 360 game. It still sits in my stack of 360 games, where it has sat since July. It may never move.

Longest Streak of Weeks Played

TIE: NBA 2K14 (X360) and NBA 2K15 (XBONE): Six Straight Weeks

The NBA season consists of 82 games and generally takes forever, so I don’t have a problem with finding like an hour of my time three or four times each week to enjoy or struggle through a game of top-notch basketball action.

Had I counted the mobile game Threes!, it would have taken this award for sure, I really ‘can’t think of a day between March and June in which I didn’t play at least a couple of rounds of that game. Also to be mentioned, though left off as it isn’t quite in the spirit of the Monday Update, is Windows 8 Solitaire, which I played every day at an undisclosed location probably for at least 2 months.

trash

Longest Entry

Another World (VITA): 652 Words

I looked back at this and I’m actually not too surprised I could write this much on a game like this. Generally, my longest entries come from the first or second week of me playing those games. I consider those entries to be the general reviews of the games before actual updates start. Another World deserved all 652 of those words particularly because I played Heart of Darkness earlier in the year, and I was fascinated by its feeling of weakness and the emphasis on puzzle solving, as well as the artistic graphical style. Though the rerelease was the only aspect of it released this year, I was still floored by how good it looks and how good of a game it is. I even did a presentation on the work of programmer Eric Chahi for a class this year (and I still don’t know how I managed to do so).

Shortest Entry

Wario Land 4 (GBA): 3 Words

and indeed it was good.

S2010007

So thus ends the first half of the awards. Now, my own opinion and beliefs upon the games I played this year.

Best Game I Finished this Year

Tearaway (VITA)

I think I only finished like 5 games total this year. Only one of them made a heavy emotional connection to me. This game was my favorite because it tells a story of growing up and looking back via the medium of gaming. Everything kept building upon itself, where tactics learned to solve puzzles early on are fleshed out later, and reminders of the stickers and pictures taken of the past keep coming back, up to a climactic ending which was less exciting and more fulfilling. The ending was like coming back home after a semester away. You’re constantly reflecting and learning, and by the end, you’re finally there, and you’ve grown.

So it came out last year, but it would be my game of the year for last year

Worst Game I Played this Year

Three Stooges (NES)

ahhhh Wise Guy eh? A woobwoobwoobwoobwoobwoob, clams or something, there’s a scene where you throw pies

Best Console of the Year

XBOX

Same as every year. MechAssault and Madden 2003 are forever GOTYs

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Best Games of the Year

I’m gonna count down from 5 here. I did play some games and I’m also going to count re-releases because hot damn did I not play that many games released this year.

5. Halo: Master Chief Collection (XBONE)

Alright, I get it. The matchmaking is broken. But let’s say for a second that I wasn’t going to play the online multiplayer anyway and I was really looking to play my favorite 2 Halo games in HD on my new console. At least after I bought the game, that aspect worked pretty well.

4. Freedom Planet (PC)

I love Sonic CD and this is like that but with more fun additions and mechanics. It’s like the natural progression of the 2D Sonic games if they kept getting better in a different way than the direction that Sonic 3 took. Likable new characters don’t hurt, either.

3. NBA 2K15 (XBONE)

You know those 1-Star Steam reviews left by players with hundreds of hours logged on a certain game? This is like that. The more time you spend with anything, the more its flaws become apparent. I talked constantly about these flaws as the year progressed, so here are, for a change of pace, the high points of NBA 2K15:

When it comes down to the final minute of a basketball game, and it can go either way, there’s a certain gravity that can be felt throughout the arena. 2K14 lacked that, but 2K15 has it. Everything seems more locked in, more dynamic like a real game of basketball. There’s a different feeling for a possession midway through the second quarter and a possession at the end of the game, and you can feel it this year.

Dunking on fools is vastly improved, too. People talk about KJ over Hakeem and John Starks over Horace Grant & MJ more than they talk about Patrick Ewing dunking on however many people he dunked on because a guard dunking on a center or Power Forward has a narrative and changes the atmosphere of a game. Last year, dunks didn’t change much in terms of atmosphere, but I can feel it more this year. You can feel that “air being let out of the building” that Tracy McGrady described after he dunked on Shawn Bradley.

There are many other reasons why this is an excellent game, but I don’t think it really competes with the next two

2. Another World: 20th Anniversary (VITA)

I know that this was just the Vita release which came out this year, but it still came out this year. I’ve written so much on this game already in this post and back in July that I can’t write that much more and not repeat myself. I wish I had tried it earlier.

1. Trials Fusion (XBONE)

Sometime back in maybe 2010 or so, I got the idea into my head that the Trials series was mindless and pointless, and that I’d never play it, no matter how much I enjoyed the demo of Trials HD. Sometime back in July of 2014, I was standing in the Microsoft Store at the local mall, looking for at least 3 games to try on my new XBOX One. I chose Wolfenstein (a game which I think could be next year’s Tearaway of the year, a game from the last year that I play through in January), NBA Live 14 (morbid curiosity), and Trials, because it was 20 dollars off.

Trials ended up being the game that defined my choices of games in 2014. If I messed up, I could just go back to the latest checkpoint. Even if I only won a bronze medal, I would succeed if I could just get to the end of the course, then work up from there. There were ridiculous, but fun easter eggs, the announcers gave the game a fun atmosphere, sort of like more clumsy versions of Portal’s GLaDOS. The depiction of the future was so much different from most modern depictions of the future, it’s fun and exciting, not dystopian like so many other forms of entertainment (aside from  has shown. I appreciate dystopia, but a little optimism, even in my weird motorcycle game is much appreciated.

Basically, 2014 was the year that I learned more about what I wanted. In some cases, like Tearaway, I wanted a game to make me react emotionally. In others, like Trials, I wanted to have fun and race someone up a mountain on a bicycle, losing only because my opponent flew further on a bailout.

Honorable Mentions:

Super Smash Bros. (3DS): It’s pretty good, but I’m just not that into Smash Bros. I guess

Mario Kart 8 (WiiU): I don’t own my own copy of this game, and I feel like if I did, I might get better acquainted with it and it could possibly make the Top 5. I just have too many issues with it and too little experience.

reProgram (PC/Twine): I followed @sokareemie on Twitter earlier this year and I played her Twine title reProgram on my iPad at 5:30 in the morning one Sunday morning. I don’t know if that atmosphere helped the intended experience but it helped my own. Anyway, I was introduced to Twine late last December and I’ve been really impressed by how well a developer (artist? I don’t know what word to use in a relatively new thing like this but I’ll figure it out) can deliver a personal story through this medium. I won’t spoil any of it, but you can Play it here

Wolfenstein: The New Order (XBONE): I’m gonna finish this game within the next few weeks, and a lot of people I respect have said some really nice things about it.

DSCF5020

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Dailies for the week of 12/22-12/26

Posted on December 29, 2014 by countrichtertoffen

MONDAY

#OWNED

TUESDAY

Hey, it’s Old Sports Games 27. I’ve known that I wanted to review this game forever, and I’m glad I got to mention Super High Impact in a video for once. I think I’ve made it 27 episodes without referencing the game, which is bizarre because there’s a lot to talk about. Maybe it’ll show up in the future.

WEDNESDAY THURSDAY

Dog wasn’t in there. Dog does NOT belong in the trash. Don’t even think about Dog being in there.

FRIDAY

This was originally a trailer for another channel that I never really started. I’m still proud of it.

And here’s the real video. I was really inspired for this video by n64thstreet’s series “Game Nugget”, 60 second videos about N64 games. Originally, the whole Video Jam thing was holding me back because I felt like I wasn’t putting enough information into a video, but I didn’t know how to do it in a number of cases. So I fixed it by not stopping myself from making relatively short videos with a lot of information. That’s how I do it.

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Monday Update: 12/28/14 – A Full Year of Updates

Posted on December 29, 2014 by Joe Bush

I present the final Sunday/Monday Update of 2014. This series of posts began in the most cliché way of all time: I made a resolution last New Year’s to update my blog at least once per week. Unlike many resolutions, I actually went through with it! I made it a full year with about 70 total posts spanning my old blogspot, my current website, and the blog I ran for the research journalism class I took in the spring. It feels good looking back at it, and that’s all I’m going to say before I start giving myself awards. However, a week ending a year is still a week after all, and I did play some games.

Halo: Master Chief Collection (XBONE): First Appearance

I can’t tell from where the online problems in this collection stem. It’s either sloppy matchmaking or an apathetic community, or a small community that doesn’t want to play. Either way, I feel like I’ve spent more time waiting for people to join Halo 2 Rumble rooms than actually playing that mode (Which is a problem, because I generally play Free-For-All modes to remember how a game works and what maps look like, etc.) I have been disappointed with the online play so far, what with the eight player maximums in some modes, and the way that so many people leave games midway through. Last week, I was waxing nostalgic about Call of Duty 2’s online, and I’m having flashbacks to that, where I’m still in the middle of a team deathmatch between 4 players where I’m the only player on my team and I don’t quit just because I don’t have anything else to do. It’s broken still, and I just hope that Halo 5 has better online from the start.

Wait a second…

The beta begins today! It begins today! What a day, everyone, it begins today! It’s a Christmas Miracle!

Spider-Man (PS1): First Appearance

http://instagram.com/p/xNDfVmiUQU/

So that happened before I could even start the game. My PlayStation is old, and I’m not surprised. I think I bought it in 2004, used, from a GameStop, and I’d guess it’s roughly 15 years old and still generally plays games well.

Anyway, I bought this game after I beat Crash Bandicoot 2 way earlier this year, because I needed another PS1 game that I could beat. I’m only a little bit of the way through the game, but so far, it seems like the proper way to do a superhero game and a decent depiction of a comic book world that I have no interest in whatsoever. Also, shout out to Neversoft, a company that I have not heard from since Guitar Hero 3

NCAA Gamebreaker (PS1): First Appearance

This is only here because it will be the next Old Sports Game covered in the Old Sports Games series of videos that I make sometimes. Thank you.

That is about all for this week, but be ready for THE YEAR END AWARDS

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Monday Update: 12/22/14

Posted on December 22, 2014 by Joe Bush

I came back home this week and all the continuity I had built up so well has gone all away

Volgarr the Viking (XBONE): First Appearance

Retro-inspired games are generally hard, but this is ridiculous and I’m happy that I found it. Possibly the most difficult game I have played so far this year. Very simple, but very fun, similar to Freedom Planet, which I played last week and enjoyed as well. The whole retro-revival type of game has rarely been my preferred style, though I enjoyed Geometry Wars beyond what should have been legal, however I can’t think of many others that I really enjoyed rather than simply tolerating

NBA 2K15 (XBONE): Seventh Appearance, Last Appearance 

I keep losing games in the final minute and I haaaaaaaaate it. That’s gotta be the worst way to live as an athlete, just constantly seeing your team losing because of one or two shots that could have gone the other way. Thankfully I’m not an athlete and I’m just playing a game. I’ve become a very good scorer, and a good passer, and a bad defender in MyCareer. Digital Nik Stauskas may be the worst player of all time, by the way. He’s supposed to be good at threes, and if he can’t hit any threes, then there’s no point to digital Stauskas. I don’t think the actual guy is even that bad, either.

Tony Hawk’s American Wasteland (X360): First Appearance

Oh, dead internet communities. Looking back and seeing an online battleground which was once plentiful with deathmatches or Trick Attacks or whatever brings a strange feeling of hopelessness in an online age where we tend to treat experiences as everlasting. Thanks to the internet, I can play Quake 2, a game from the late 1990s, at the highest settings on my PC. However, I will never be able to recreate the real experience of Quake 2 deathmatches at their height. The 2005 XBOX Live games on the 360 were like an entry into a world that would grow for years, an unexplored frontier, which I don’t know that many people expected to still be available nine years in the future.

I first experienced this in 2009 when I tried to get in a game of Quake 4 on Live, but was met with empty servers. “How can nobody in the world be playing this online right now?” I asked myself. I had seen people move away from the favorite games of the past, but at that point, I had never imagined that nobody in the world, in this world of six billion people (at that point), there was nobody online. Zero people. Five years later, in a game of relatively similar popularity, there was one.

This was one of the few 2005 360 titles which maintained an online community of some sorts past 2010. I remember Call of Duty 2 still had a few avid players up through 2009, and I can remember playing games of six or seven people in THAW through 2011. This is because people who really like Tony Hawk games generally stick to the modified THPS3 engine which was used up through THAW and then discontinued for Project 8. THAW is the only game which straddles the earlier, generally regarded as better, Tony Hawk games and the modern XBOX Live configuration.

Today, I bought the Halo Master Chief Collection, and got almost as excited as I have ever been for a game. Halo 2 online? I can play Halo 2 on XBOX Live again? I immediately remembered when I last played Halo 2 on Live, it was the final day when one theoretically could. I played all my games through a VCR back in those days, and I recorded about 2 hours of a night of Halo 2 and Counter-Strike. Theoretically the last night of Halo 2 ever. But I can play those maps again online now. It isn’t all lost.

Worms Battleground (XBONE): First Appearance

Praise god for games that I can play with other people by sharing a controller in the year of our lord 2014

NCAA Football 14 (X360): Third Appearance, Last Appearance 9/1/14

Moving from five minute quarters to eight minute quarters has changed everything. I just won a game 49-48. Everything is real

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Dailies for the week of December 15th-19th

Posted on December 21, 2014 by Joe Bush

AN ENIGMATIC WEEK

MONDAY

but what does this mean

TUESDAY

Yes, in the middle of the screen, making a cross over my chest and shouting “rest in peace” is me, Joe Bush, from online. I am 19 years old and this was the first time that I alone have been on TV. I have been on TV before when I was in the band at my high school, when a camera panned across us at a basketball game, and definitely in the band in college purely with the fact that I was somewhere in a form. However, this was the first time that I have both been the featured person on the screen, and also the first time you could hear my words. Let it be known that the first words I ever spoke on television were “Rest in Peace,” delivered to Iowa State’s offense. We won that game.

WEDNESDAY

Story time. I used to play Call of Duty 2 all the time back during around 2009 or so, right before MW2 came out. By this point, the game had been out for four years, and four more games had been released. Needless to say, the online community was sparse by that point; we’d struggle to fill games up even with a cap of eight players. I would form friends with the people who played consistently and remembered me. It helped a lot, especially if they were playing in a game already in process, where I could jump in on their games. It helped find people to play with in a dying community

THURSDAY

I bought sodas, I have no concept of the origin of this cake and how it ended up on a car

FRIDAY

I needed to put those sodas somewhere. more news to come

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Monday Update: 12/16/14

Posted on December 15, 2014 by Joe Bush

A short one, you say? Yes, absolutely. I have to decide what makes it on the Monday Update each week, and sometimes I don’t play something enough for it to really qualify. For instance, I played Wii Sports Resort of all games this week at a party. (Summer 2013’s “Game I Was Wrong About”) It’s still alright but with a faulty Wii MotionPlus, you’re not getting many buckets. (Our record in the 3-point shootout was three made baskets). Anyway,

Freedom Planet (PC): Second Appearance, Second Straight Appearance

It got me back in that thing that happened when I played Sonic & Knuckles for the first time, where I’d get stuck and forget that I could do very obvious things, like “climb a wall with Knuckles”. This time, I stood in one general area before realizing that there was a third button I could press to kinda launch myself in the air. The only other thing I remember really is the fact that the boss fights are really good, they remind me of Sonic CD’s boss fights, which played well on the game’s speed and simple controls. Though they were challenging, I didn’t quit, which speaks more to me than the game really, showing I’ve grown as a person.Or something.

NCAA Football 2003 (XBOX): Fourth Appearance, Second Straight Appearance

I won the Sugar Bowl in my season mode with Texas Tech. Typically for big games and if I have a number lot of time on my hands, I change the settings from 5 minute quarters to 10 minute quarters. You’d think that doubling the amount of time in the game would simply double the score of the game. I would think that too, however, adding the extra five minutes per quarter puts a strange amount of momentum into the game, where struggling offenses suddenly spring to life and relatively good defenses can’t do anything.

In a Sugar Bowl between an 11-2 Texas Tech team and an 8-5 Mississippi team, one which remained unranked after an upset in the SEC Championship, and one whom I had already beaten in the season with a score like 24-14 or something like that. The final score of the bowl game? 52-48, Tech wins. Eli Manning was out in the middle of the second quarter and his backup did better than him. I had a receiver, Anton Paige, get 370 some yards receiving. All because I doubled the amount of time in the game. One day, I’ll play a 60 minute game, I’ll stream it, and the final score will be 84-80 or something like that. Video Games are meant to imitate life and often quite simply shit the bed.

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HISTORICAL TRANSCRIPT: The Construction of Fraser Hall, 1965

Posted on December 10, 2014 by Joe Bush
https://i0.wp.com/www2.ku.edu/~build/cgi-bin/assets/images/fraser.jpg

ku.edu

Little of this is real

SETTING: University of Kansas, 1965

PERSONS: BROTHERS FRASER, CLINT, 38 AND WALTER, 35; CONSTRUCTION JEFF, 31 ; STONE SETTING MAN

CLINTWORTH FRASER: Bro, we got all this money for this building and we’re almost done.

WALTERMAN FRASER: ‘Chea bro, it’s almost all the way complete. Even the whole “built on slanted Earth” thing is all accounted for, people on this side of the building are just gonna jump like six or seven feet to get in. It’ll all be good!

–BROTHERS FRASER HIGH-FIVE-

-ENTER CONSTRUCTION JEFF–

CONSTRUCTION JEFF: Well, we’re all finished here. The entire construction team is finished and the whole building is done. Nothing is left to be finished or done. Are you ready to open this hall?

BROTHERS FRASER, IN UNISON: HELL YEAH!

–BROTHERS FRASER HIGH-FIVE AGAIN-

–CONSTRUCTION JEFF LOOKS TO HIS RIGHT, THEN IS STARTLED-

CONSTRUCTION JEFF: You recognize that you have a door stationed six feet off the ground?

C. FRASER: It’s no big deal man, just gotta have that vertical! Not my problem if you have no hops.

CONSTRUCTION JEFF: No matter what you believe about the vertical leap, a certain six-foot fall out of a door will stain the name of our construction company for years. I insist that we do something about it.

–BROTHERS FRASER LOOK AT EACH OTHER-

C. FRASER: You thinkin what I’m thinkin bro?

W. FRASER: SKAAAAAAAAATE RAAAAAAAAAAMP!

–BROTHERS FRASER HIGH-FIVE ONCE MORE-

BROTHERS FRASER, IN UNISON: HELL YEAH!

CONSTRUCTION JEFF: That’s highly unsafe and skateboarding of any sort is not allowed upon this campus, judging by the sign over here.

W. FRASER: Well that’s some bull shit. *Emphasis is placed upon the word “bull”*

–WALTERMAN POUTS-

CONSTRUCTION JEFF: Stairs may be better suited to our needs. Actually, let me take that back. Stairs are literally the only option here.

W. FRASER: Fine. See what I care. But they’re not gonna be good.

C. FRASER: Yeah! We’re gonna make them out of whatever material gets very slick when wet. That way, when it rains, people fall on their stupid asses! Not like us, we’re not stupid and we don’t fall.

–STONE SETTING MAN walks by, slips on spilled Bud Light, falls-

BROTHERS FRASER, IN UNISON: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BRO

–BROTHERS FRASER HIGH FIVE-

–CLINTWORTH PULLS OUT AN ANTIQUATED NOKIA CELL PHONE AND DIALS-

C. FRASER: Operator! Operator! I need a place that sells rocks! And fast! I have money!

–CELL PHONE OPERATOR CONNECTS HIM TO “BERNIE’S ROCK HELL”-

C. FRASER: HEY WHAT’S YOUR SLICKEST ROCK? GET ME A STAIRS-WORTH OF THAT! I WILL PAY IN CHECK!

CONSTRUCTION JEFF: That barely helps your case at all, but I have documented the fact that the stair material was of your choice and not my recommendation so I believe I will be legally covered. I’m going home to my sick wife.

-ALL LEAVE THE SCENE-

-THREE WEEKS LATER, THE SLICKEST STAIRS IN THE WORLD ARE INSTALLED-

-DAYS AFTER THAT, CLINTWORTH’S CHECK BOUNCES-

-TWO WEEKS AFTER THAT, CLINTWORTH FRASER IS FOUND GUILTY OF FRAUD AND PLACED IN JAIL FOR SEVEN YEARS-

-49 YEARS AFTER THAT, I ATTEMPT TO WALK DOWN THE STEPS OF FRASER HALL AND NEARLY FALL ON MY ASS ON BOTH THE WALK UP AND DOWN-

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Monday Update: 12/8/14

Posted on December 9, 2014 by Joe Bush

Play this song while you read the first paragraph

It’s December and I have played a total of five games that came out this year. They are as follows:

Wolfenstein: The New Order (XBONE): Three Appearances

NBA 2K15 (XBONE): Six Appearances

Trials: Fusion (XBONE): Five Appearances

Mario Kart 8 (Wii U): Three Appearances

Super Smash Bros (3DS): Three Appearances

I don’t have much of a resume for this year’s annual end of the year awards that everyone does (and look out for Ben and I’s, which will come out in late December). Anyway, it’s time for a yearly tradition everyone, that’s right, it’s Joe plays a bunch of games that came out this year in a mad rush to seem like he’s still a conscious consumer! Sponsored by GOG.com, which is having a sale right now and helping me purchase more and spend less on the unimportant things in life such as: Medicine, food, shoes, or warm clothing (I’m wearing a 1930’s Czechoslovakian Army coat this winter). But let’s get started!

Freedom Planet (PC): First Appearance

Ben looked at this game and said “Looks like Sonic but with cute cat girls.” It’s exactly that. Which means it’s basically perfect for me. I love the way the game looks, and (I’m probably the only one who cares) it looks more like a Genesis or 32X game than a Super Nintendo game. I’m unsure if that’s intentional or not, but that’s the type of authenticity that I want from a retro-style game.

Alcatraz: 1954 (PC): First Appearance

Second-best game based in Alcatraz of all time. The best is Tony Hawk 4

NCAA Football 2003 (XBOX): Third Appearance, Last Appearance 11/3/14

I played a crazy-ass game last night which featured this fucked-up play, the final play of the first half. They went up by 13, I cut the lead to six, then my receiver dropped a catch in the endzone. Very good. I don’t want to talk about David Beaty right now, but I think he’ll do well in the future. I don’t believe that I’ll see a bowl game by the time I graduate, unfortunately.

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